


One Hundred

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Boys' Love, Falling In Love, Love, M/M, Multi, Reincarnation, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has a hundred chances to tell Levi he loves him, but will it ever work out?</p><p>[discontinued. But each chapter is a oneshot, so go ahead and read]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Corporal

“Corporal! Corporal”

 

I shout, but I know it’s no use. No one can save him now. Humanity’s strongest soldier is lying on the ground in front of me, his strength nearly gone. Blood is leaking everywhere, and Levi’s breath is coming in short waves. He looks up at me, and I see the fire that I admire so much still burning in his eyes.

 

“Come here, you shitty brat. Jaeger.”

 

I crawled over to his side taking his hand in mine. His skin was cold compared to mine, and I clutched him closer.

 

“Corporal?” I asked quietly.

 

“You’re humanity’s last hope. Live. Promise me you’ll live until the titans are gone.”

 

The fire was still burning and he tightened his grip on my hand. “Promise.” He urged, his eyes searching my face for affirmation.

 

“I promise, s-sir.” I said.

 

My voice was trembling and I felt tears spilling from the corners of my eyes.

 

“Don’t cry, Eren.”

 

He said my name, my first name. He hardly ever called me Eren. But that was a command I couldn’t follow. If anything, my tears were coming faster now. Why did he have to leave? Why?

 

“I’m sorry, sir.” I choked out.

 

“Levi.” He hardly had strength to speak. “Call me Levi.”

 

“Levi.” I repeated. He smiled slightly at the sound of my voice.

 

His eyes went dull, the corners of his mouth still turned up into a smile. I don’t think I had ever seen him smile before. Eyes that once held a hurricane of determination were now empty, dead. Sobs racked my body. My corporal was gone. I sat there gripping his cold hand in mine as if to hold him in this world a little longer. But he lay still, unmoving, dead. _And I never told him…_


	2. Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're family this time.

“Look at his eyes!”  The new mother proudly coos.  “They’re bright green and so full of life.”

 

Her five year old son stares down at the new baby.

 

“He’s going to make a lot of messes, isn’t he?”  The boy asks.

 

“Oh, Levi,” Says their mother. “He’s your brother.  And as his older brother, it’s your job to protect him and clean up after him.”

 

She patted Levi on the head affectionately.

 

“Eren!  You’re making a mess again!” Levi sighed, exasperated me.  I was lying sprawled on the floor with my homework strewn every which way.

 

I looked up.  This was a common occurrence between the two of us.  Levi was a ridiculous clean freak who wanted everything to be in order.  He also didn’t hesitate to give his little brother a good beating when he misbehaved, but whenever I was in truly danger, Levi wouldn’t hesitate to step in front of me.

 

As the years dragged on, I realized that the feelings I held for my older brother weren’t strictly brotherly.  But I was too scared to tell Levi.  By the time I was nine years old, Levi was already in university.  He hardly ever came back to visit and always seemed a bit distant when he did.

  
So when I looked down at his face for the last time, I cursed himself for being an idiot, for being weak.  I had a whole lifetime to tell Levi how I felt.   _Next time._  I promised himself.   _Next time I’ll be sure to tell him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter... though I was fairly harsh, so you also might want to kill me. Sorry! Also, a note on updates: they'll be coming randomly. I'm a busy student, but I'll try to keep new chapters coming as frequently as possible. And if you have any ideas for episodes, I'd be happy to see them. Thanks!! <3 Hope you liked this chapter! (Sorry, it was really short! I'll write a longer one next time!)


	3. The Apprentice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about twenty years after the world had been freed of titans. Eren works as an apprentice to a blacksmith and is left to man the shop alone for a little while.

I was working as an apprentice in a blacksmith’s shop.  Our world had been free from titans for almost twenty years.  I was about twenty now, so I had never seen one.  But sometimes it seems like I know what it felt like to face the giants.  I wondered what it had been like to live in a world that could end any day.  A short man with black hair and a disdainful expression walked in the shop interrupting my reverie.  He looked hardly older than I was.

 

“Tch.”  Was the first thing he said.  

 

He made a show of pulling his green cloak away from the dusty walls.

 

“I’m here to pick up my purchase.  Get it.  Quickly.”

 

“Name?” I asked.  I was the only person in the shop right now, so I would have to handle the transaction.   _Great_. I thought to myself. _I really look forward to dealing with this guy_.

 

“Levi.”  He said after a short pause.

  
When I returned, he handed me the money quickly and swept out of the store.  The transaction was more uneventful than I had initially thought.  But he seemed like an interesting person, and I couldn't shake the feeling I had seen him before.  Every day I waited for him to come back, but he never did.  Why did I feel like I had forgotten to tell him something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour! Yes, I know. This is short. Sorry! Hope you like it anyway! <3 And thank you, all you lovely people, for leaving kudos and comments. It makes me happy :D


	4. Take a Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Eren is practicing his shooting skills. He runs into an unexpected not-so-strange stranger... :)

I walked into the range for the first time.  I was fifteen years old.  My father was a famous hunter, and he had been teaching me how to hold a gun since the time I hit seven.  My mother hated the firearms, and hated how my father was teaching me how to shoot.  On a few occasions, I ventured out into the woods with him, but never far.  However, for my fifteenth birthday my father had agreed to take me on a week-long camping trip up into the mountains.  

 

I was at the range to practice.  My mother had finally cracked down about the no-shooting-in-the-back-yard thing.  The range was basic.  Hitting unmoving targets wasn’t that big of a deal.  Still, practice was practice.  I had three shots on the bullseye and had sent three bullets downrange.  Then I noticed that the man next to me was doing just as well.  He was firing with a bored look on his face.  He glanced up and noticed me staring.

 

“Do I have dirt on my face or something, kid?”  He deadpanned.

 

I shook my head violently.

 

“No, s-sir!”

 

He rolled his eyes slightly and went back to shooting.

 

“So, how’d you learn how to shoot, brat?”  The man interrupted the silence.

 

“Oi, I’m not a brat!”  I was indignant.  Who did he think he was?

 

“Then don’t act like one.”  Was his cold reply.

 

I let out a sigh, and raised my gun again.

 

“Tch, you’re holding it wrong.”

 

“What?” I looked around at him.  

 

“Let me show you.”

 

He walked to over where I was standing and started adjusting things.  I had poor posture or my stance wasn’t strong enough or I was too tense.  After a couple minutes, he stood back to take another look.

 

“Now try.”  He commanded.

 

I obeyed.  Bullseye.  Again.  But somehow, it felt easier, and more natural.  Maybe this guy actually knew what he was doing.  I tried again.  This way, the gun was easier to hold steady, and I could aim more quickly.

 

After another twenty minutes or so, we were both packing up to leave.  As we were walking out of the shooting range, he turned to me.

 

“Do you want to get some lunch?”  

 

I looked at him uncertainly.  

 

“Do you want to get some lunch?  Are you hungry?”  He looked at my blank face, again.  “I’m speaking the same language you speak, right?”

 

I nodded.  

 

“S-sorry, I think my mom wants me to go home.”

 

He sighed and started walking away, the opposite way that my house was, unfortunately.  I felt oddly attracted to him, and really wanted to talk to him more.  And he was just walking off without saying anything right after asking me to lunch.  I ran after him.

 

“Um, excuse me…”  He stopped walking.  “Will I see you again?”

 

He appraised my face for a few long moments.  My airways felt constricted.  And something about those deep grey eyes was making my heart beat faster than it should.  And as the seconds passed, I was getting increasingly nervous.  His expression was almost unreadable, but looked somehow unhappy or confused or something else.  I couldn’t place the emotion properly.

 

“Probably, not.”  He said, and a shadow crossed his face.

 

“Why not?”

 

He gave a mirthless laugh.

 

“I do a lot of odd jobs.  I can’t afford to stay in one place for long.  See you later, brat.”  And with that, he was off.

  
I could tell there would be no use trying to converse with him again.  He was gone, and it felt like a part of me left with him.  I watched his receding figure until he turned a corner somewhere down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I hope you like this story! It really doesn't matter what order you read the chapters in except for the first one and the last one. Anyhow, any comments, feedback/criticism would be great. Thanks!! <3


	5. One Starry Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is with his family on a trip to visit his aunt and his cousin, Mikasa, when they stop at an inn for a night. Levi and his newlywed wife stop at the same inn. What will ensue?

The carriage ride was bumpy.  My mother was decked out in her nice traveling dress she always wore when we were going visiting, and my father was staring out of the window of the carriage, blissfully lost in his own world.  After what seemed like years, the carriage was finally slowing down.  I looked outside.  Dusk was falling, and we were sitting in front of a small inn.  We stumbled inside, legs almost numb from sitting for so long.

 

Our room was small and stuffy, and I was going to be sleeping on the floor.  After a nice warm dinner, my parents decided to get a good night’s rest, but I lingered downstairs.  Without anything else to do, I made conversation with the bartender.  He was a man about my age.  His name was Armin, and he was the son of the owner.  Armin was very smart and easy to talk to, so I stayed longer than I had originally planned.  My parents wouldn’t mind.

 

We both looked up as the front door opened.  A stoic man and a giggling girl walked in.  Where she looked extremely happy, he looked neutral at best.  

 

“I will take our luggage upstairs, Petra.  Wait for me down here, and then we may have something to eat.”  The man said as he started towards the stairs.

 

“Oh, Levi, you’re such a gentleman!” She fluttered and gave him a peck on the cheek.

 

He seemed not to notice the gesture and continued his walk to the stairwell.  As he passed the bar, my eyes locked with his, and I felt an odd shiver run down my spine.  He held my gaze until he started up to the second floor.  I kept my eyes fixed on the spot where he disappeared until Petra sauntered over.

 

“Hello.” She smiled pleasantly.

“Hello, miss.” Said Armin, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Oh, no thank you.  I’ll wait until Levi returns.  But anyhow, what are your names?”

“Armin.” Armin extended his hand.  She giggled and took it.  It was a bit odd to greet a lady by shaking her hand.

“Eren.  Eren Jaeger.”  I took her hand gently and gave it a short kiss, as my parents had taught me.  This was a proper greeting.

“Well, nice to meet you two.  What brings you here?” She turned to me.

“I’m traveling with my parents.  We’re going to visit family.” I paused, not really wanting to talk about my family.  “ And yourself, Miss Petra?”

“Levi and I were married two days ago, so we’re taking a few months to tour the countryside.”

 

I felt a sudden rush of envy, but tried to hide the emotion.  What was wrong with me, anyways?  So I smiled.  That was all I could bring myself to do.

 

Soon enough, Levi came walking down the stairs.  His clothing was impeccable even after spending a day on the road, and he carried himself like the aristocracy did.  As he neared the bar, I noticed how much he was lacking in height.  He stood a good 10 centimeters shorter than me.  

 

“Levi, this is Armin and Eren.”  Petra gestured in our general direction.  I inclined my head.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Levi.” I extended my right hand to greet him.  He accepted.

 

The moment our hands met, I swore I could feel a spark between us.  We both withdrew quickly.  The rest of the evening passed with the four of us talking.  As time passed, Petra was growing tired.  She was a lady, after all, and had already spent a day with exhausting travel.  She excused herself politely after a time.  Giving Levi another kiss on the cheek, she left.  A few minutes later, Armin yawned, and left to go to bed.  He said he trusted us not to mess the place up too badly if he wasn’t watching.

 

Levi moved next to me when Armin left.  I could feel my heart beating faster.  I knew it was wrong, but somehow, it felt so right.  My parents would disown me if they thought I had an interest in men.  It was my duty to carry on the family name.  Plus, Levi was a newlywed.  My dreams were foolish.  I figured it would be best if I went to bed, but Levi started talking to me.

 

“Hey kid, do you think people will ever be able to choose who they marry?”

 

I looked up at him.  I knew what he meant.  His marriage was arranged, or he was pressured into it for the sake of diplomacy between families.

 

“I hope so.”  I said quietly.

 

He glanced at me and nodded.

 

“I wish just for a day that I could be free of that obligation.  Unfortunately, it’s too late now.”

 

He laughed, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.  The ring on his left hand glinted dismally in the glow of the candles that were lighting the room.  I nodded my head again.  I really didn’t know what to say.

 

“Say, kid, do you want to forget about those obligations for a few minutes?”

 

HIs face was still difficult to read.  Stormy grey eyes stared into my green ones.  What did he mean ‘forget our obligations?’

 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked like that.”  He looked away from me.  “Please forget this by morning.”

 

He gently cupped my face in his hand and brought our lips together.  I was frozen.  What on earth was he doing?  We had hardly met, and now we were kissing?  I listlessly thought about the ring in a little box that we were bringing with us.  I was to propose to my cousin Mikasa while we were visiting my aunt.  That was the plan, but in that moment, I wanted to give the ring to Levi.  It didn’t matter if people hated us, as long as we could stay like this.

 

I broke out of my thoughts.  I shouldn’t waste these precious few moments.  His hand tangled in my hair, bringing us closer together.  I gasped when we broke apart and brought a hand to my face to wipe my mouth.  Before his face reverted to it’s earlier stoniness, I caught a glimpse of longing on his countenance.  He stood up quickly, still a little shaky from our kiss.

 

“I should go.”  He announced and left the room.

 

I sat at the bar breathing heavily.  What had just happened?  I knew it couldn’t continue.  He was married, and I soon would be, too.  But I didn’t want this to be the only time I saw him.  I needed fresh air before I went to sleep on the floor upstairs.  The night air was cool and clear.  Stars twinkled above me and the moon was shining her gentle rays upon me.  A soft breeze lifted my hair.  I would always keep Levi’s memory close, though I swore to myself that I would never speak of it.

 

Come morning, we acted as if nothing had happened.  Levi and Petra left early in the morning, when I was still eating breakfast with my parents.

 

“Goodbye Armin, Eren!”  Petra smiled as she walked out of the door holding Levi’s arm.

  
I felt a pang of guilt.  Even if Levi didn’t want her, she was clearly deeply in love with him.  I mustered a smile as I waved back.  The door closed with a sort of finality, and I saw a carriage pull away from the inn. _I’m sorry, Levi.  I’ll never forget._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :) Here's another chapter. I was sort of thinking of a Jane Austen-ish time period for this. People were duty-bound to marry into the right families. Anyway, hope you like it! As always, comments/criticism/suggestions are welcome. Thanks :D


	6. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa and Eren are on a date celebrating their anniversary, when an unexpected person walks into the restaurant.

Mikasa, my girlfriend of two years, and I were out on a date celebrating our anniversary when he walked in. The first thing noticeable was his height, then his cold eyes, then the wing tattoo on his neck. Our eyes met, and I thought I saw a flash of confusion, but his face smoothed out quickly and he turned away.

 

I was standing before I knew what I was doing. Mikasa looked up at me questioningly. I knew I was acting oddly, but at the moment I didn’t care: I wanted to know who he was, because I had a feeling I should know.

 

“Bathroom.” I muttered before hurriedly walking away.

I walked around the restaurant looking for the man with the wing tattoo, but I didn’t see him. After fifteen minutes I still hadn’t seen him, so I decided to walk back to mikasa before she got too

suspicious. It was then, of course, that I practically crashed into the man.

 

“I’m sorry, sir.” I said quickly, hoping my chances of talking to him weren’t completely ruined.

 

“Levi.” He offered. “Call me Levi.”

 

Those words echoed in my mind. _Call me Levi_. “Levi.” I repeated out loud. He nodded curtly.

 

“Eren.” I said after some hesitation. Why was I being so awkward? I extended my hand to be polite.

He took it slowly.

 

“I’m sorry, but have I met...” He started to ask, but then Mikasa appeared.

“Eren Jaeger, explain yourself! Where the hell have you been for the past 30 minutes?” I instinctively jumped away from Levi.

 

I knew how terrifying an angered Mikasa could be.

Levi stood still for a few more seconds before turning on his heel and leaving. _Great_ , I thought. _Now I have an angry Mikasa to deal with_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So it's a short chapter again, sorry! I am, however, trying to keep the chapters a reasonable length, but we'll see what happens. A lot of ideas become really long without a lot of work. Anyway, hope you like it! :)


	7. Chemical Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is very bad at chemistry, and he needs a tutor.

I was terrible at chemistry.  Terrible.  Somehow, I had managed to make it through the first half of Chemistry 101, but it wasn’t going so well now.  I had dawdled on taking the course, memories of high school chem keeping me away from the labs at college.  So it was my Junior year before Mikasa forced me to put Chemistry onto my schedule.  As one of the core requirements to graduate, I knew taking the class was necessary, but I still hated it.  

 

Professor Hanji was always extremely excited about the class, and it made it hard for me to actually get useful information out of the class.  She would easily go off on random tangents, and the threads of her lecture would get so tangled that it was a wonder anyone actually knew what the labs were supposed to be.  Since all my friends had taken chem 101 before Junior year, I didn’t know anyone else very well, which meant I got stuck with some idiot named Jean.  

 

Jean hated chemistry as well, so we came to be known as the losers who would always accidentally cause something to explode.  For some reason, Hanji loved our “creativity,” and we were both managing to get straight Cs.  If it were any other professor, both Jean and I would have been kicked out of the class after the first week.  But even though Hanji liked our experimentation, she did want us to get the proper results out of the labs some of the time.

 

Since I was worse (yes, worse even than Jean) Hanji told me to get a tutor so that I could actually pass the final examination.  I had four weeks left before the final and was feeling quite nervous, so I applied to get help.  It went against all of my pride and my “I can do it by myself or it doesn’t need to be done” ways.  However, I didn’t want to fail chemistry and then not be able to graduate college.  That would be even more embarrassing than having to get a tutor.

 

When I heard that my tutor was some guy named “Levi,” it struck a certain chord with me.   _Levi?  Levi_.  That named sounded ridiculously  familiar.  Had I ever met someone named Levi?  At the time, I couldn’t think of anyone.  Clearly, no one in my usual social circles was named Levi, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t run into a Levi at some point.  Still, that name felt close, like a long lost friend or lover.  Or WHAT?  I had been spacing out in the library where I was supposed to meet this Levi.   _What was I thinking?_

 

My head jerked up to survey my surroundings.  A few people were whispering over their open textbooks and brightly colored notebooks, but the library was otherwise silent.  I turned to look at my watch. _5 minutes til_.  I sighed.  I had known I was going to be early, but I misjudged and had already been sitting in this hard wooden chair for fifteen minutes.  

 

“Good, you’re early.”  I jumped.

 

“H-hi.”  I looked at him.  His eyes seemed to bore straight into my soul, and I glanced away uncomfortably.  

 

He was holding a briefcase, and had a cold expression on his face.  Even though I was sitting, I could tell that he was short.  He would come up to my nose at best.  

 

“Hello.  So you’re Jaeger.”  He stuck out his right hand, which I took.  “I hope you’re hands are clean.”

 

I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Look, I don’t want dirt by me.  Alright, brat?”

 

I nodded.  Was it absolutely necessary for me to take tutoring lessons?  Yes, yes it is.  A small voice seemed to answer.  I sighed.  This would not be easy.  

 

Levi sat down across the table from me.  He had a bored look about him.

 

“So, what do you need help with?”

 

“Chemistry.” I replied.  I wasn’t trying to be smart, really.  He obviously knew what he was tutoring for and was actually just trying to be precise.

 

“I know that, smartass.” He glared at me.  “Is there anything in particular you need help with?  Balancing equations?  Memorizing the elements?  Any chemical reactions?  Processes?”

 

He stopped and stared at me.  I coughed slightly.

 

“I need help with all of it, s-sir.”

 

“Tch, dumbass.  And there’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ although I do appreciate it.”

 

I didn’t say anything.  I wasn’t really sure why the “sir” had slipped out.

 

“Anyways, let’s get started.  It looks like you’re going to have to spend a lot of time working if you don’t want to fail Chemistry 101.  So there are a few ground rules.”

 

_Ground rules?  What the hell was this?_  I sighed again.  Why couldn’t we just get on to the chemistry part?

 

“One, pay attention to what I tell you.  Two, do what I tell you.  Three, if you put one speck of dirt near my person you are cleaning my room for the rest of the semester.  Understand?”

 

I nodded.  I didn’t really understand, especially not rule three.  Why was this so difficult?  Nevermind the annoying procedural stuff, I was also having trouble taking my eyes off of his face.  His nose was sculpted so elegantly, and the curve of his lips was just so.  I looked at his eyes again.  They were grey and reminded me of powerful storm clouds rolling in.  

  
“Oy, brat.  Did you forget rule one already?”

 

“Uh-”

 

“Tch, I’ll go easy on you for today, but really, pay attention.  It’s for your own good.”

 

And so the lesson progressed.  By the end of it, I did feel like I had a slightly better grip on the material, but I had a long way to go.  Levi and I arranged to meet again in a few days.  At the lab the next day, Jean and I actually managed to not blow anything up.  We were so proud of ourselves that we knocked over a few of the test tubes while jumping around in celebration.

 

Hanji made us clean up the mess we had made before we could leave.  Jean grumbled the whole time, and I chose to ignore him, which only made him more annoyed.  By the time we were done cleaning up the broken glass, I thought that Jean was going to punch me.  Instead, he grabbed his backpack and headed out.  I waited a few seconds before rushing out after him and heading what I hoped was the opposite way.

 

I decided to go to the Library and study what Levi had asked me to look at before our session the upcoming day.  The words were swimming in front of me.  Somewhere I heard screams.  I turned around, behind me people were being devoured by giants.  Blood was splattering everywhere.  There was terror in their eyes.  All those people who would never go home to see their family, their friends… I shuddered.  I spurred my own horse forward.  We had to keep going.  I watched the back of my captain and the wings fluttering on his green cape.

 

Thunk!  I landed with a loud thud on the floor.  My head was throbbing, and my vision seemed blurry.  I attempted to get up, but only managed to fall down again.   _What had I seen?_  

 

There was someone standing above me.  I blinked my eyes, and my vision cleared a little.  However, the face above me was still blurry.  I pushed myself up onto my elbows, trying to regain some dignity.  

 

“Oy, brat, are exams stressing you out so much that you started screaming your head off in the middle of the library?”

 

“L-levi?”  I gasped.  Backing away a little.

 

“Tch, no need to be terrified.” I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.  “Are you okay?”

 

“Um…”  Honestly, I wasn’t sure.

 

“Well, let me take you to the medical center.”

 

“What, no, I’m fine.  Really, I just fell asleep.”

 

Levi let out a huff.  

 

“C’mon.”

 

I felt two arms picking me up.

 

“Gah, what are you doing?”  This was definitely not dignified.  

 

“Taking you to the medical center, brat.”

 

I didn’t respond, but only prayed to whatever gods there were that no one I knew would see me.   _No one see me.  No one see me._  But, of course, I wasn’t that lucky.

 

“Levi-san?  Is that EREN?”  I heard Jean’s voice.

 

“He passed out in the library.  I’m taking him to see a doctor or something.”

 

“Wait, how do you know him?”  Jean sounded shocked.

 

“Tch, I’m busy.  And, by the way, I tutor him for chem, same as you.”  

 

Jean flushed, but walked away.  

 

I spent three hours with people poking and prodding me before they decided that I had a mild concussion from hitting my head on the floor but was otherwise fine.  Levi had disappeared after carrying me to the building, because he had class.  He reappeared later to check in on me.  He didn’t actually see him, but I could hear him talking to one of the assistants outside of my door.

 

Our tutoring session the next day passed like the first one had.  I was trying to focus on what Levi was saying, and not on how attractive he was, but didn’t do that well.  By the time I left the library, his face was permanently stuck in my mind.

 

Exams were coming quickly, and my tutoring sessions were getting more spread out, because Levi had finals as well.  And, as smart as he was, he did have to study.  The grades I was getting on my chemistry assignments were improving marginally, but they were improving.  Instead of a C I was closer to a C+, but that didn’t help too much.  As long as I passed, I could graduate without worrying about having to retake chem.

 

The day of the chem final was hot.  I nearly fell asleep multiple times in the middle of the test, but in the end, I managed.  I definitely wouldn’t get an A, but hey, I would pass the class.  That was the last of my finals, and we had a few days until the seniors would graduate, until Levi would graduate.

 

I spent the next few days aimlessly wandering the campus.  Secretly, I was hoping to run into Levi and talk to him before he graduated, but luck was not on my side.  Levi was absent from wherever I went walking, so I had to content myself with just sitting under a tree and watching the world go by.

 

When graduation came, I snuck in to see the speeches.  I just wanted to see Levi, and I knew I wasn’t exactly supposed to be there, but I tried anyway, saying I was the brother of one of the seniors.  I nearly fainted when they announced the valedictorian.  It was Levi.  I mean, I knew he was smart, but it came as a shock to see his 5’3” figure make his way up to the podium.  He had to have been standing on a box, because he looked a lot taller when he was behind the podium.

 

“Fellow students,” He began “It would be easy for me to talk endlessly about the four years I spent here, but let me not dawdle on what you already know.  Instead, I turn to the future, the unknown.  Because as we will walk out of this room in a few minutes, we jump into an abyss of uncertainty…”

 

I was transfixed.  I had always thought of him as antisocial and not charismatic, but the persona he displayed was enthralling.  His head turned to me.  He didn’t even pause when he noticed I was there, when I really shouldn’t be.  

 

“In addition, I would like to thank the people I have met here.  Some of you, I wish I had spent more time with, and others, well, others not so much.”

 

The crowd laughed.  But my breath was catching in my throat.  It was as if Levi was speaking only to me.  

 

“Sometimes four years seems like forever, at other times, it seems like only a few days.  I can truthfully say, that the bonds we have forged here will last.”

 

I wasn’t listening anymore.  Okay, so I was probably reading too much into “I wish I had spent more time…” and him looking at me.  He was probably just staring into the crowd.  Why would he notice me, anyway?  There was applause around me.  Levi was done.

 

It was over.  He was graduating, and I would never see him again.  I had only known him for four weeks, but it seemed like I had known him for years.  It wasn’t the amount of information that I knew about him, because that was very little; it was the way we interacted, like we were comfortable, that made me feel like we first met a thousand years ago.  I was standing under a tree.  It was hard to pick out Levi in the mass of black-robed students, so I was waiting until the crowd thinned to find him.

 

“Oy, brat.”  My head snapped up.

 

“So I guess this is goodbye.”  I said softly.

 

He seemed to read the look in my eyes.

 

“Hey, it’s not the end.  I’m not dead, stupid.” He cuffed me lightly in the head.  “Maybe we’ll meet again.”

 

“Yeah.” I paused, not exactly wanting to say what was on the tip of my tongue lest he should find it too personal.  But my annoying way of spitting out whatever was on mind came into play.  “Was I one of the people you wished you’d spent more time with?”

 

He froze.  His scowl became a little more pronounced, but his face still looked perfect.  I turned bright red.

 

“Nevermind.”  I mumbled.  “That was a stupid question.  I don’t know where that came from.  I shouldn’t have asked.”

 

“Eren.”  

 

My stomach jolted.  He hadn’t called me Eren, ever.  It was always “Jaeger” or “brat” or “dumbass” or something that wasn’t my first name.  Our eyes met.  

 

“I was going to say yes.”  He said.  His voice though steady seemed to vibrate with hidden emotion.

 

I scanned his face.  I had always had the impression that he was fairly gold and had very good control over his emotions.  His face twitched a little.  He looked so cute.  I couldn’t resist.  I put my arms around him despite my better judgement.  Rationality be dammed.  It was likely that I would never see him again.  I could feel his body tense up, but he relaxed after a few seconds.  I felt a hand on my back.

 

“Goodbye, Levi.” I whispered.

 

“Goodbye… Eren.”  

  
We broke apart.  And as he quickly turned away, I could swear he was blinking a tear out of his eyes.  That was probably only a trick of the light, though.  He walked away from me, late afternoon sun illuminating him beautifully.  As I stared at his receding back, I swore I could see the crest with two wings rippling on a green cape.   _I’m sorry, corporal.  I forgot to tell you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! Here's new chapter... I got a little carried away so it's much longer than the previous ones have been. Hope you don't mind :)


	8. Dirty Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa drags Eren to a dance night.

“Mikasa!” I complained, but yet again, it was to no avail.

 

Mikasa was determined, and when she was determined, there was nothing I could to stop her.  This time, she wanted me to accompany her to the first ballroom dance club meeting.  As she didn’t know anyone yet, she wanted me to be there.  I absolutely did not want to go.  I had no intention of learning how to dance swing or foxtrot or whatever the hell else I might be forced into.  Mikasa actually made me dress up nicely, though I refused to button the top button on my shirt; it felt too constricting to have something that tight around my neck.

 

We were almost at the door.  I was dragging my feet as much as I could, but Mikasa was determined.  She shoved me through the door.  I gasped.  There were couples twirling around the room.  Unlike Mikasa, I had absolutely zero experience.  Suddenly, I felt deficient.  There was nothing I could do here.  Mikasa grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the floor.

 

“Dance with me.” She ordered.

 

I had no choice.  But I really had no idea what I was doing.  And then it got worse, because I was distracted.  

 

There was a couple taking up the center of the floor.  Their moves were filled with some sort of wild beauty, and they contorted and twisted in a gorgeous dance.  The way they moved made it look completely effortless.  The girl looked weightless as her partner lifted her.  Every move was with the beat, they never missed.  I ignored Mikasa impatiently tugging at me until the song ended.

 

“I want to learn to dance like that” I told her.

 

“Then listen to me.”

 

I looked at her.  After about fifteen minutes, I could do the basic step on the beat, but that was about it.  Then the guy who I had watched dancing earlier came up to us.  

 

“You’re new here.”  He stated.  He wasn’t exactly the charming charismatic person a club would usually delegate to meet new people.  “My name is Levi.  I’m the Vice President of the club.  This is my partner, Petra.”

 

He gestured to the girl he had been dancing with.  By the way they had been dancing, I would have guessed they were a couple, but now he just seemed cold to her.  Or maybe, he was just a cold type of person.

 

“I’m Eren.” I held out my hand.

 

“Here, let me teach you to dance.”

 

Suddenly, I was being dragged back to the dance floor.  I was stuttering, but couldn’t form any coherent arguments.  I looked back.  Mikasa looked stone-faced and slightly upset, well, that might be an understatement.  And Petra was giggling.  

 

“Put your hand here.  Straighten up… God, you’re hopeless.”

 

He sighed.  He hardly came up to my nose, but he seemed strong.  Then I noticed something.

 

“Wait, why am I the girl?” I shrieked.

 

“Because you’re less experienced, dumbass.” Levi snickered.  “Now, move.”

 

I did as I was told.  I was suddenly being whirled around on the dance floor.  Just as I came out of a spin, I would be pulled into Levi, only to be pushed into another twirl.  The song ended.

 

“You weren’t terrible, brat.”

 

“Umm… thanks?”

 

“Now, you try leading.” He looked at me.  I could see that he was completely serious.

  
“I have no idea…” I started to say.

 

“Just go with whatever comes to mind.”

 

I swallowed.  I really had no idea what I was doing, and I had a feeling Levi would kill me if I screwed up.  I gingerly placed an arm on around his waist, and a hand on his shoulder.  This felt extremely odd.  

 

“You’re arms are too loose.  Hold me tighter.”  I gulped, and obeyed what Levi had told me.

 

I could tell my face was turning red.  Why did my emotions always have to be so obvious?  I was cautious as the music started.  But Levi nagged me about being “indecisive” so I tried harder.  Levi was surprisingly light on his feet, and he definitely knew what he was doing.  I was sort of stumbling, but somehow managed to stay roughly on beat.  At the end of the song, I was exhausted.  It took a lot of brain power to lead, at least, for me.  And my head was spinning, but it had nothing to do with twirling around the dance floor.  Levi made eye contact with me.

 

“You have potential.” He whispered, standing on his toes to get closer to my height.  He was so close I could feel his breath on my ear.

 

Then Mikasa came over.  Her face was stonier than ever, and she looked like she was on a mission.

 

“Can I dance with him now?” She asked Levi sarcastically.

 

“Be my guest.”  He replied.  As he turned to leave, he gave me a wink, which left me blushing harder than ever.  I danced the rest of the time with Mikasa.  When I tried to walk away to get a drink, she would always follow me.  I didn’t catch sight of Levi again.   _Damn_ , I thought to myself. _I really wish I had a chance to talk to him_.  But that chance didn’t present itself, and I’d be damned if I went to another meeting just to dance with Mikasa for five hours.  I was sure she wouldn’t let me out of her sight.  For some reason, it seemed as if she really disliked Levi.  She went to meetings regularly, but I never accompanied her once.

  
Perhaps I would regret that later.  But one day, looking through the school news, I saw that Levi and Petra had won some national award.  I smiled.  Maybe I’d be a better dancer in some other life.  But I was happy that Levi was doing well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you like it :) As always, if you have any suggestions for episodes, I'd be happy to hear them. And also, the perspective will change from Eren's to Levi's every ten chapters just to change it up. Thanks!!


	9. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren walks to the cemetery. He's seeing ghosts, or so he thinks...

 

It was the middle of winter.  I was on break for the holidays and was stopping home to visit my family.  Mikasa arrived in our house a few hours after I did.  We didn’t speak.  It had been so long since we had been in this house, the house that we had been raised in.

 

Snow drifted down outside the windows.  The streets were covered in a thin blanket of shining white, and bitter cold winds were squeezing their way through our old house.  Mikasa and I ate a take-out dinner in silence.  It felt wrong to talk at a time like this.  

 

The sky was dark by the time we made it outside.  The snow was still swirling down from the heavens lazily.  I clutched a small wreath of red roses as we walked.  White flakes of snow stuck in my hair and in Mikasa’s.  Streetlights cast small pools of light in the otherwise dark world.

 

I glanced up.  I could have sworn I saw something moving.  I thought I heard someone scream and I thought I saw blood spatter.  I blinked my eyes trying to erase the images that were flooding my head.  These were all just nightmares, visions I had when my mind was stressed.  Mikasa didn’t look back as I cringed in pain.  These images were painful.  And for some reason they felt more like memories than dreams, but I knew that couldn’t be right.

 

The snow glittered as it fell.  All sound was dampened, so we walked in a kind of quiet peace.  It was cold.  I saw Mikasa wrapping her ever-present red scarf around her face more tightly.  

 

We turned through a gate.  And again, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  This time it was of a man flying through the air.  But that was foolish, people didn’t fly.  I felt a sudden aching in my heart, and my steps stopped.  Mikasa turned to look at me with a questioning look in her eye, but I started walking again so she turned forwards.

 

It wasn’t long before we reached their grave.  Our parents were buried together.  They had died on the same day, in the same accident.  I gently brushed the snow away from the tombstone and laid the wreath down.  It was all Mikasa and I could do.  Our parents were too far gone for us to reach again.  I looked up to the heavens, as if wishing for some sign that they knew we were here.  

 

Then I blinked.  He was standing there, or rather, hovering.  Above a small tombstone a few rows over, there was a man standing on the grave.  He was translucent, but I thought nothing of it.  He turned his grey eyes towards me, and I could see the blood running down his face.  As I looked more, I saw that his whole body was bloody and beaten.  He disappeared.  I blinked again.  He wasn’t there anymore.  Was he a ghost?

 

I walked over to the grave hoping he would come back.  Because with the event of his appearance, I had recalled a number of things.  He was my corporal.  I was in love with him.  I _am_ in love with him.  I looked down at the grave.  It only said “Levi” and a date that would indicate a death about 50 years ago.  

 

I heard a slight rustling noise behind me and the crunch of feet on snow.  From the back, from his hair cut and the way he walked, I wondered.   _Could it be him?_  My heart was racing.  But he was dead.  Levi died.  The man continued walking and stopped at the grave next to Levi’s.  He laid down a single rose.  And as he did so, I followed his movement and read the name: _Eren Jaeger_.

 

But that was me.  I stared at it.  My eyes widened.  It wasn’t possible.  It had to be some other Eren Jaeger even though it wasn’t a common name.  He just happened to die on the same day as Levi next to him.  He just happened to have the same name.  I just happened to remember coming to this town before.  

 

I looked at the man next to me.  He was straightening up and staring at the grave.  I looked at his face.  There was no mistaking it.  This man was Levi.  Or if not Levi, then an exact replica.  His eyes snapped to mine, sensing that I was staring at him.

 

“Eren?”  His voice was soft.

 

How did he know my name?  Could it be that he remembered?

 

“I’m sorry.  I mistook you for someone I used to know.”  He had clearly taken my silence as an indicator that I didn’t know.

 

“Wait.” I said.  I couldn’t think straight.  This couldn’t be happening.  It wasn’t real.  “L-levi, right?”

 

His eyes widened slightly.

 

“You remember?”  His voice was soft and trembled slightly.

 

“A bit.” It was true.  I didn’t remember anywhere near everything.

  
And then I felt his arms around my back.  His face was buried in my shoulder.  I held him tightly.  It had been too long.  And this felt so right, so normal.   _Levi, I found you again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! So, if this was confusing... Eren is living in a town that he lived in the "life" before. In that incarnation, he and Levi had been together in some sense, or at least known each other. They died in an accident (hence bloody Levi standing on his own grave). Eren remembers a tiny bit of this life and also of titan-fighting life when Levi was his corporal. Hope you like this chapter! And I promise I'll get to requests and stuff soon. 
> 
> I'll also be switching to Levi POV from chapter 11 to 20... then back to Eren and alternating every 10. Or maybe not. But that's the plan for now. Thanks for reading!! :D


	10. Wherefore art thou?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren unwillingly goes to an acting class. Unexpected things happen. ...Gah, I'm terrible with summaries! Sorry!

 

 _Why am I doing this?_  It was a stupid dare.  Just because we were playing truth-or-dare and Armin decided to be funny doesn’t mean I need to do this.  It’s going to ruin my whole semester!  

 

I stood outside the door to the building that the theatre department was hosted in.  I had always been into sports and physics.  But Armin liked acting besides being ridiculously smart and good at everything.  And here I was standing with my best friend in front of the theatre department.  I was a late addition to the class, and understood that I’d probably just be an understudy.  Really, how bad could it be?

 

But then I walked in.  The teacher was a woman with glasses and a very excited manner.  She bounced up to me and introduced herself as “Ms. Hanji” and her assistant as “Levi.”  I flinched at the name.  For some reason, it made my stomach turn a little.  I looked at him.  He was short and had a cold look to him.  But honestly, his eyes were beautiful.

 

I was in this class alone because it was beginning level, so Armin was taking a class at the same time, but in a different room.  The teacher started talking.  The class was a study on Shakespeare.  I groaned.  I had never been good with dead Englishmen… or really, anything to do with literature or words in general.  We were going to scenes from _A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Much Ado About Nothing, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet._

 

The parts were already assigned, so my job was to play back up for the Romeo and Juliet scenes.  Why?  I didn’t know.  It was stupid.  The teacher was stupid.  Acting was stupid.

 

And then they stepped up.  I was surprised.  The teacher’s assistant had a part in the scene.  Hanji told me she just wanted to be able to watch how well Levi did.  I scowled.  There was no possible way I could be a convincing understudy for Levi, and I told her so.

 

Hanji laughed at me.  

 

“You’re not Levi’s understudy, silly, you’re Juliet’s.”

 

I gagged.

 

“WHAT???”

 

“You’re Juliet’s.  I want to make sure Levi is in the showcase at the end of the semester.  So if Juliet gets sick, you’re stepping in.”

 

“B-but, I’m a guy!  And I have no experience!  It would be terrible.”  

 

_What am I doing? I have to be a fucking girl?  And play opposite Levi?  I breathed for a second.  No fucking way._

 

“C’mon Eren.  Juliet will probably be fine, so it’s just good practice for you.  I highly doubt you’ll actually be put into the showcase.”

 

“But I don’t want to.”

 

I knew it sounded childish when I said it.  But it didn’t help that Ms. Hanji burst out laughing.

 

“Really, Eren.  It’s a great way to start.  It’s a low pressure gig, perfect for a beginner!”

 

She smiled at me encouragingly.  And then Levi walked over.

 

“Honestly, I don’t want to have to kiss you either, but I will if she” he gestured at the girl who was currently playing Juliet “gets sick or some shit.”

 

I sighed.   _Armin is going to pay for this_.  Then I thought about it a little more.  Armin would die of laughter if I told him I might have to be Juliet.

 

“Fine.” I snapped.  “I’ll be the fucking princess if I have to.”

 

“Wonderful!” Hanji smiled.  “I hope you study really hard so you know what to do!  We’ll practice with you as Juliet some of the time so you’re comfortable in that position.”

 

I left that day unsure if I even wanted to show my face outside.  The news that I was Juliet, or that there was even a possibility that I _could_ be Juliet, would soon spread through the school.  Sure enough, Armin came up to me later that afternoon.

 

“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou-” I almost punched him in the face.

 

He laughed.

 

“C’mon Eren, it’s a great part.  You’re a first-timer and you get to work with an expert like Levi.  Most people would give anything to be in your position.”

 

“Most of those people would be girls.” I snapped.  “And Armin, last time I checked, I’m very much not a girl.”

 

I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day.  I was not feminine.  And I did not want to have to kiss, or stage-kiss, Levi.  Then my mind flashed back to how perfect the curve of his lips was.  Fuck.  I did want to kiss Levi.  This was stupid.  

 

Rehearsals didn’t get better.  I would sit in the corner trying not to get too jealous when Petra, the girl playing Juliet, got close to Levi.  And I hated the way my face reddened oh-so-easily when Levi got too close to me.  Every time I walked out of the room, I would walk into Armin.  He would greet me and then ask something about Romeo with an extra kind of sparkle in his eye.

 

Somehow Jean, my stupid asshole of a roommate, found out that I was Juliet.  He had no interest in acting or theatre, and I had no idea how he even knew.  He didn’t let up on me from the moment I walked in the room until the moment he fell asleep.  I hadn’t gotten along well with him to begin with and now it was only worse.

 

It didn’t help that I actually liked Levi either.  If it was anyone else, all the jabs about “Romeo” could have easily been ignored.  But my face would betray me so easily and turn red the second someone put our names together.   _I’m acting like a fucking schoolgirl_!  I exclaimed inwardly after a particularly embarrassing comment from Armin.  To make matters worse, Levi walked up.

 

“Hello, my love.” He said softly into my ear as he passed by.

 

I stiffened.  Honestly, what was wrong with me?  Armin giggled, and I glared at him.

 

The fact that the end-of-semester showcase was approaching wasn’t helping either.  Armin promised multiple times that he would be there with a few friends.  He also mentioned telling Mikasa.  At that, I had protested so much that he seemed to have given up.  It was bad enough potentially having to be Juliet in front of a number of strangers, but if there were people I actually knew, it would be a hundred times worse.  That is, of course, if Petra managed to get sick or otherwise couldn’t perform.

 

Ten days ‘til and everything was looking good.  Petra and Levi worked perfectly together, and my rehearsal time in the scenes had been cut considerably.  I still had my lines memorized just in case, but I was starting to relax.  The likelihood that I would have to step in seemed almost zero.

 

Of course, I had no such luck.  Five days before the showcase, on a Tuesday, I walked into class and didn’t see Petra.  Hanji came up to me a few minutes in.

 

“Eren, Petra has the flu.  She just came down with it over the weekend, and she says she doesn’t think she can do the showcase, which means you’re Juliet for Saturday night.”

 

I blanched.  I would have to do it.  Armin would be there.  Mikasa would probably be there.  And, oh god, Jean would be there.  I wouldn’t have any peace for the rest of the school year.  Hanji smiled at me encouragingly.

 

“Why don’t you go practice with Levi?”  She suggested.

 

I walked over to him unhappily.  Why?  Why had I ever even agreed to come to this class?  Levi didn’t look particularly pleased either.

 

“Just try not to do too badly.”  He said to me.

  
Wow, that was inspiring.  The rehearsal wasn’t as dismal as it could have been.  At least, my lines were solid and I had most of the blocking down.  I had been so uncomfortable when Levi kissed me that he stopped in the middle of the scene.

 

“Honestly, brat, try to relax.  If the audience thinks you’re having a panic attack, this isn’t going to work out very well.”

 

And because Levi was a perfectionist, we had to practice kissing many more times.  It was a short kiss, nothing too graphic, but I was always a bit late on my line after it.  I walked out of rehearsal redder and a bit more heated than usual.  Armin took one look at me and stifled a laugh.

 

“So, you’re Juliet for the showcase.  I’ll practice lines with you if you want.”  He was in the middle of talking when someone interrupted.

 

“Hey, brat, we need to make sure everything goes smoothly.  This building’s open in the evenings, too.  Come meet me at seven today?”

 

Levi had managed to push a slightly shocked looking Armin aside and was facing me directly.  I was too scared to say ‘no.’ So I nodded my head once and turned away.

 

The hours between the end of acting class and seven that night passed too quickly.  Armin bid me a cheery farewell as we parted ways after eating dinner with our friends.  I dragged my feet as I walked back to the theatre building.  I walked in the room our class was in at 7:02.

 

“You’re late.”  Levi announced as soon as the door opened.

 

“Sorry.” I muttered.

 

I didn’t want to look him in the eye.  This situation was just too awkward.  I was alone with Levi and we probably had to practice kissing again.  I dropped my bag on the floor fairly close to the door and walked over to him.

 

“So, what are we doing?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

 

“Let’s start from the beginning.”

 

I had been right.  Levi said we needed to practice the kissing scene again.  I hadn’t bothered to tell him that he was technically my first kiss, not exactly the way I had imagined it, to be sure.  His lips gently touched mine for a few seconds before we broke apart.  Each time he had a different comment, “relax” or “don’t hold your breath.”

 

Finally, at 8:30 exactly, Levi told me to meet him the next night at 7:00 again.  I nodded in assent and walked out of the building.

 

The next evening came quickly. I made sure to be on time, as I remembered Levi had been annoyed at my tardiness.  I opened the door at 6:59, breathing a sigh of relief as I checked the time.  I set my bag down by the door again.  Levi was staring at me from across the room.

 

“You’re actually early.”

 

I nodded.

 

“Well, let’s get to it, then.”

 

I nodded, again.  By the end of that rehearsal, I think we were both feeling better about how the scenes were going.

 

“You’ve gotten better at kissing.” He told me.

 

As usual, he was to the point.  I hoped he didn’t see my face redden for the hundredth time that hour.

 

“Thanks.” I murmured.  “You know, you were my first.”

 

I just blurted it out.  God I was an idiot.   _Why am I such a fucking idiot?_ I questioned myself as I quickly walked out of the room.  He didn’t need to know that.  Now he probably thinks I’m some stupid kid.  Instead of going to the library to study, I walked straight back to my room, thankful that Jean was out.

 

I undressed and laid on my bed.  I had  to see him again tomorrow.  But it wasn’t like I had told Levi that I had a crush on him.  No, he just thought I was some dumbass immature kid.  I snorted.  My life sucked.

 

I dragged my feet to acting class the next day.  I really didn’t want to see Levi again, to fake kiss him again.  I walked in sulkily.  Levi was standing on the other side of the room as usual.  He was chatting with Hanji.  I leaned up against the wall, trying to put off the moment I had to face him again.  Then he walked over.

 

“I asked Hanji if we could use one of the separate practice rooms upstairs.  I thought it would be better.  Come on.”

 

He pushed the door open and ushered me through.  I followed him up the stairs reluctantly, wondering why he had chosen today to get a separate practice room.  He held the door open for me again and flicked on the light switch.

 

“Since I’m your first, I should at least do this properly.”

 

“Wha-” I started to say, but couldn’t finish.

 

Levi had gently taken my face in his hands.  He had to reach up to kiss me, owing to his short stature, but it didn’t matter.  He was gentle pressing his lips against mine softly.  This was not a feeling I was new to, but there was something different about him, something more passionate.  His hands wandered to the back of my head and neck, pulling me down, pulling me closer to him.

 

He pulled back slowly.

 

“Remember to breathe.  It helps.”  He said quietly.

 

I was too shocked to say anything.  What on earth was he playing at?  But I didn’t really mind.  He kissed me when it wasn’t for acting.  He kissed me when it wasn’t scripted or blocked.  Practice progressed fairly normally after that.  Perhaps we were a little more genuinely romantic than before, but I couldn’t be sure.

 

“You look happy.”  Armin commented when I ran into him after classes.

 

I nodded.  I was extremely nervous though.  The showcase was in two days, and those two days passed by like a flash.  As Levi was the teacher’s assistant, the Romeo and Juliet scenes were placed last in the showcase.  Backstage, Hanji stuck a wig and a dress on me before doing my make-up.  This part we hadn’t really practiced for.  The dress wasn’t too uncomfortable, but I was a bit afraid of tripping on the long skirt.

 

When Hanji was done, I looked in the mirror.  Who was that staring back at me?  Surely, it wasn’t a boy.  I turned my head from one side to another, but I had to admit, I looked pretty damn attractive as a girl.  Just to affirm my thoughts, Levi walked in.

 

“You look gorgeous, Juliet.”  

 

I smiled.  It gave me a little bit of confidence to know that I looked good.  The time it took for the other acts to go passed quickly.  Too soon, Levi was pulling me up the stairs to the auditorium’s stage.  I walked slowly out in front of the audience.  Who was here?  I saw Armin, Mikasa, and, dammit, Jean.  The lights were bright in my face as I stood on the stage.

 

The scenes went smoothly.  I didn’t forget a single line, and Levi was, of course, perfect.  Maybe it was adrenaline,  but it felt like hardly a minute had passed as I walked back off stage.  Everyone came back on to bow, and then it was over.  It was over!  After many months of hating it, I realized I might actually miss acting class.

 

A few minutes later, I was standing outside of the auditorium with Armin and Mikasa still with a bit of make-up that didn’t want to be removed on my face.  

 

“You did really well!”  Exclaimed Armin.

 

“Good job, Eren.”  Mikasa smiled.  “You looked good in a dress.”

 

“Juliet.”  I turned.  It was levi.  “You did wonderfully.  I hope you keep with acting.  I have to admit, you have some natural talent.”

 

He hesitated for a second, before wrapping his arm around my neck and pulling me into another kiss.  

 

“See you around.”

 

He said as he walked away.  I turned back to Mikasa and Armin who were still staring after Levi.  Armin looked shocked and Mikasa looked furious.  

  
Maybe I would go back for another acting class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry, I haven't posted for a while! I just get too caught up in life... and then I try to write episodes that are too long. Anyway, I hope you like it :) I'd love to hear feedback and suggestions. Thank you!


	11. Sit Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is an art student and Eren is... well, Eren is the nude model for a figure-drawing class.

I was poor.  Erwin had long been a benefactor of mine, actually caring about me enough to get me into the prestigious art school at which he taught.  Our deal was that I would perform well, and my full ride scholarship would last.  As a Junior now, I was getting uncomfortably close to actually having to make a living for myself.  Life was never easy, especially as an artist.

 

Somewhere in the first semester of my Junior year, I was aware that my figure-painting class was switching models.  Honestly, I was thankful.  The current model was grumpy, old, and very unattractive.  I liked everything as smooth and beautiful as I could make it while still being realistic, so this old man made my life quite annoying.  The class was all-day on Monday and a half-day on Wednesday.  

 

One Monday, just before Professor Hanji dismissed the class, she announced that our new model would be coming in to meet us so we could do a few quick sketches that Wednesday.  I was grateful.  Just about anyone would be better than our current model, honestly.  

 

Tuesday passed quickly, and so did Wednesday morning before the class.  It was mid-October and the weather was getting a bit chilly.  So by 12:45, I was walking across the quad with a scarf wrapped around my neck and carrying my painting toolbox.  I went to my usual spot in the studio.  I was directly under one of the overhead lights and directly in front of the model’s stand.

 

The floor was as untidy and paint-stained as ever.  Sighing, I set my box down and started unwrapping my scarf.  It was 12:57.  I was three minutes early.  By the time the rest of the class trotted in, I was already sitting on my stool with my legs and arms crossed, impatiently waiting for the lesson to start.  Hanji bounced in ten minutes late, as usual, but she was dragging along a somewhat reluctant looking boy.  

 

“Class, this is Eren.”

 

I stared at him.  He had green eyes with depths like the ocean, and the sheer strength of his spirit seemed to emanate from him.  I was completely tuning out whatever Hanji was saying.  This model, Eren, was so much better than the last one I could hardly think, but that wasn’t all.  His name sounded so close, so familiar, but I couldn’t place it.  The memories that I seemed to have of him were hiding just below the surface and I couldn’t reach them.

 

My face fell into a scowl as I tried to remember who he was.  But now was not the time to be reminiscing, it was sketching time.  Eren was already standing at the front of the room.  His removed his shirt in one fluid motion, it seemed like he was used to modeling.  I felt an irrational surge of jealousy as I noted how everyone in the class seemed transfixed his beautiful body, and it was beautiful.

 

I inwardly flinched.   _What the fuck, brain?_  I asked myself.   _You’re supposed to think of him only as a subject for observation_.  But my brain wouldn’t shut up about the perfect curves of his abs or the way his shoulder muscles moved as he stretched.  He swept his untidy brown hair out of his face before leaning down to undo his pants.

 

Half of me wanted to yell “Hey, stop it!” but I knew I couldn’t, not in front of the entire class of art students who were supposed to be used to seeing naked people.  I bit my lip and tried not to think about how much I wanted to touch him.  It was hard not to, though. _Levi, what the fuck?_ I questioned myself.  I was not normally like this.  Had I eaten anything weird? Done anything unusual?  No.  It was Eren.  It was most definitely that brat’s fault that I couldn’t concentrate properly.

 

My sketches were decent considering the lack of concentration.  They were different than my usual completely accurate hard-lined drawings that were left free of feeling.  These sketches seemed to have more feeling.  Hanji noticed this, too.

 

“These look amazing, Levi!  You really capture the sense of him.”  She patted me on the back as she walked on to the next student.

 

The end of class came quickly.  I was partially annoyed that no longer had an excuse to stare at Eren, but also grateful that I may regain some of my sanity once I left the room.  Before she let us go, Hanji told us that we could get extra credit if we did sketches of Eren outside of class, which meant we would have to schedule separate sessions with him.  That was just too tempting.

 

I quickly walked after Eren as he left the door.

 

“Oy, Eren.” I called.

 

He turned at the sound of his name.  Green eyes searching the hallway until they rested on me.  I felt a small rush of something as our eyes met, but I tried to ignore it.

 

“Yeah?”  He asked.  He didn’t say it in annoyed way, it simply curious.

 

“I want to get extra credit.  When are you free?”  Yes, I was straight-to-the-point.  I would gain nothing from making small talk before asking him.

 

“Not sure off the top of my head.  I can give you my number though and you can call me later when I have my calendar in front of me.”

 

He was going to give me his number.   _Oh no,_ I thought. _It will be way too tempting to abuse having his number._  But I didn’t hesitate to pull out my own phone and add him as a contact.

 

“See you around, uh… what’s your name?”  Eren said after giving me his information.

 

“Levi.” I muttered.  “Just call me Levi.”

 

A flicker of something, confusion maybe or concern, flashed behind his eyes, but he turned away.  Maybe I had just imagined it.  I walked away in the other direction, and I was smiling.  It was the first time in what felt like years that I had actually smiled.  There was something about him, Eren, that made me feel human again.  I had lived so long depending on Erwin Smith for support, that I had felt like only a burden or a hardship for him.  I didn’t really have friends.  Oh, there were people I talked to, but I could hardly consider them friends.  And odd as it may be, I already thought of Eren as more than an acquaintance.  

 

I called Eren after dinner that night.  I have to admit, I was a bit desperate.  Half of me was saying “fuck, not yet!” and the other half was saying “do it now.”  In the end, I decided on contacting him.  I waited tapping my foot impatiently as I heard the phone ringing.  Would he actually pick up?  Or had he only given me his number so he didn’t have to talk to me then?

 

The beep of his voicemail came up, and I sighed.  He _could_ just be busy. I reminded myself trying not to feel too put-out.  I waited exactly five minutes before calling again.  I promised myself that I would stop trying if he didn’t pick up this time.  He didn’t answer again.  I was in the process of putting my phone away, when I felt it buzz.  I glanced down at the screen, it read _Incoming call from Eren._  I answered it.

 

“Hello?”  I asked.

 

“Hey.  Sorry, I didn’t pick up, Jean was being an asshole and wouldn’t give me my phone back in time.”

 

“I understand.  Do you know when you could come model for me?”  

 

Even as I asked, and even though this was perfectly normal for art school students, I felt myself blush a just a little.  If we actually worked this out, we would be alone.  And he would be, well, exposed.  I tried to push the unwanted thoughts out of my head, but my stupid fantasies were persistent.

 

“Uh, um… let me check.”  

 

I could hear him pull away from his phone.  The shout of “Hey Mikasa, do I have any free time this weekend?” came through as well.   _Mikasa_.  I felt a surge of dislike.  Was I jealous?  Eren picked up his phone again.

 

“I’m free all of Saturday and Sunday afternoon.  What works for you?”

 

I started to speak but stopped when I heard another voice from Eren’s side.

 

“What’s up Jaeger?  You on your phone with your boyfriend?”

 

“Shut-up Kirschstein!” I heard Eren yell.  “I actually have better things to do than that.”

 

“Really, like what?  Strip naked for a room full of people?”

 

I heard the phone drop onto what I presumed to be a table top.  I heard Eren’s yell of “bastard!” and the sounds of a scuffle.  Then I heard a female voice.  The sounds of fighting stopped almost instantly.  The phone was picked up again.

 

“Sorry, about that.” Eren muttered.

 

“Was that Jean?” I asked.  I was curious.

 

“Yeah, he’s a total jerk.”

 

I nodded even though I knew Eren couldn’t see me.

 

“Well, I can meet you at the studio on Saturday.  How about 1 pm?”  I suggested.

 

We set the time, and hung up.  I was going to see him alone.  I wouldn’t readily admit it to anyone else, but Jean’s jab of “boyfriend” really stuck in my head.   _So, was Eren single?_  A sly voice in my head started up.   _If he was actually in a relationship, Jean wouldn’t have asked and Eren wouldn’t have replied like that, right?_  It was the second time that I’d managed a real smile, and in one day.  Something must have gone wrong in the universe.  This wasn’t normal.  And things that weren’t normal generally annoyed the shit out of me, but this was different.

 

Saturday came too slowly for my liking.  Even though it was only few days, I was impatient through all the rest of my classes and couldn’t focus properly during my studio time on other projects.  I delayed going to the studio as much as possible, but I still opened the door ten minutes before one.  To my surprise I nearly ran into Eren as I walked through the door.

 

We halted awkwardly.  I quickly took a step back.  We had avoided actually colliding, but only just.  He let a small “oh” escape his lips, before saying, “Sorry, gotta go.”  Before removing his phone from his ear.  I was confused for a second before realizing that he had been talking to someone.

 

“Sorry.”  I muttered, feeling exceedingly awkward.

 

He just nodded and walked back in the room.  As time went on, I kept thinking it was a bad idea to be doing this.  I had to consciously force myself to focus on drawing many times.  After about half an hour, I told him to take a break.  It was only polite, anyway.  He didn’t even turn away while he stretched, so I got a full view of the way his muscles moved as he tilted from one side to another.  I ripped my eyes away from and tried to focus on my sketch.

 

For a model, Eren liked moving around a lot.  He would twitch every so often.  And he would start complaining about wanting to stretch about every ten minutes.  As time wore on, the intervals between his moving were growing smaller.  I was almost done with a sketch when he turned his head to stretch his neck.

 

“Sit still would you?”

 

He paused to look at me.

 

“Oh, sorry.  I don’t even realize I’m moving.”

 

I “tch”-ed quietly and went back to drawing.  It wasn’t just that he was moving that was bothering me; it was the unconsciously sexy way that he was moving that was really throwing me off.  By the time an hour and half was up, I was done.  I was one hundred percent sure that another session like this one would be the end of my usual cool and controlled composure.  I nearly lost it and did something when Eren casually told me “see you in class, Levi!”

 

I waited for a few minutes after Eren had walked out the door.  My god, what an idiot I was.  Somehow, I ended up in love with him.  It was something about Eren that made me feel comfortable, there was no other word to describe it.  

 

The next class wasn’t any easier.  My mind kept wandering.  I would often look down to notice my hand had stopped moving, that my sketching was paused.  Each time I would try to refocus, and each time I would forget about my drawing after only a few minutes.   _Damn, Eren_.  I thought.   _Damn him.  He’s too attractive.  I can’t fucking focus._  I was sure I was going to lose my scholarship, and all over one person, too.  

 

I started to avoid Eren.  I tried distracting myself with other people, something I had never bothered to do before.  It turned out some of my other classmates were actually okay to be around some of the time.  The days of my stupid fantasizing over the model in figure drawing had to be over.  I reminded myself of that every day.  Deleting Eren’s number was one step to forgetting about him.  

 

But as the semester was drawing to a close, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was making a terrible mistake.  There was a nagging in the back of my head that I shouldn’t be pushing him away, that I shouldn’t give him the shortest greeting I possibly could when he energetically bid me hello, that I shouldn’t be isolating myself from him by hiding behind other people.  I had a weird sense of deja vu.  Hadn’t I done this before?  Hadn’t I regretted shunning him until my very last moments?

 

That was impossible, though, wasn’t it?  Yes, it was.  I was a logical man, and some stupid thinking about deja vu and memories was ridiculous.  I had to let him go.  It was the best for him, too.  I assured myself of that.  A few weeks later, I heard that Eren had a boyfriend, some guy named Armin.  That name sounded strangely familiar, too.  But I shook off that thought.  Anyway, I had been right not to go after him.

 

 _Let Eren go.  Let him live his own life._  I reminded myself.   _He has his own path to walk._ I smiled sadly to myself.  It was best to let him fly with his own wings; Eren didn’t need me to show him what freedom means.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a few days, but I'll try to update more quickly in the future. This was based off of a suggestion from SaIsae. So I made Levi an art student and Eren a model. Yes, there's a little Eren x Armin (Ermin? Armen??? does this have a name?). I hope you like this! And of course, suggestions and criticisms are always welcome. 
> 
> Also, I'm amazed. I wasn't expecting this to get over 2000 views! You guys are awesome!!! <3<3<3


	12. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is born a few years before the titans are fully eradicated. He grows up with stories of the hero, Eren Jaeger.

 

My childhood was spent safely with in Sina.  My father was a member of the Military Police, and I always hated his job.  I hated that we had all the advantages when there were so many people that were in danger.  That was until I was three years old, and we all heard the tales of the Scout Regiment, now nicknamed “the Angel Legion.”  They had saved us.  No, not all of them, we all honored the captain, Erwin Smith, and humanity’s strongest, the titan-shifter.  

 

After more than a century of being trapped, humanity was free.  Even though I was only three at the time, I remember the day we rode out of the walls.  The world outside was empty.  Wildlife ran free, and there was no buildings or houses as far as we could see.  We were to live only about twenty minutes outside of wall Maria.  

 

One day, I asked my father what my name was.  I never really liked the sound of “Levi.”

 

“You’re named after the corporal who died on the day of humanity’s first great victory over the titans.  Though it cost his life, it meant we all were given hope.  You’re named after a great man, remember that.”

 

He patted me on the head and went off to work.  A few days later, we heard that humanity’s strongest soldier had disappeared.  After finalizing humanity’s victory, he had run away from us.  Eren Jaeger, the champion of humanity, was gone.  Later that day, we were told his best friend had run after him.

 

We didn’t hear anything more for three weeks.  In that time, my father built our house with the help of a few other men.  Three weeks later, the news came that Eren Jaeger was dead.  I bowed my head to mourn a man I never met.  

 

Years later, I was within the walls on a trip with my parents.  The interiors of the walls were something like museums now.  The king still lived in his palace, but everything else was basically empty.  We went to the Military Police’s museum.  This was the first time I saw the  3D maneuvering gear in my life.  The way it looked was beautiful.  It’s design was ingenious, and I wanted to try it.  After an hour, my parents dragged me away.  I was only nine, after all.  

 

My father was strict about me not joining any kind of police or military.  I resented him for it, but left anyway.  And on my way out, I bumped into a grubby looking boy, who looked about three.  He was toddling along with a girl about his age running after him.  She had black hair and a red scarf.  I looked at his eyes, they were wide and green.  He looked up at me and blinked a few times.

 

Then he ran away towards the the display case with the 3D maneuver gear.  His sister was hot on his heels.  Something about the intensity of his eyes was making my heart beat faster.  I felt a mounting excitement, and I tried to turn back to go talk to him.  There was a firm hand on my shoulder.

 

“We’re leaving, Levi.  Let’s go.”

  
My father steered me out the door.  I swore to myself, that I would one day get my hands on 3D gear someday.   _I want to fly_.  A phrase ran through my head.   _The wings of freedom_.  I saw an image of a cape with the legendary scout regiment’s insignia.   _Why now?_  I wondered.  Just before the door closed as we exited the museum, I glanced back.  The boy with green eyes was staring at me.  The door shut, but I would never forget those eyes.  They were as deep as an ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I hope you like this chapter! Sorry, I haven't written for a while :( I've been so busy with school. As always, feel free to give suggestions :D Thanks!!!


	13. Singing Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren joins the a capella group Levi's been in for years.

_“The water is wide_

_I cannot get o’er_

_And neither have_

_I wings to fly…”_

 

I trailed off.  The bathroom door had opened, and as we were in college with a large communal bathroom, I felt the need to not sing when other people were there.  

 

“You can keep singing, Levi.” Said a deep voice.

 

It was unmistakably Erwin, the head of our a cappella group.  I sighed.  He was the only person I would let listen to me singing in the shower.  Otherwise, it was just too awkward.  I continued singing.

 

_“Build me a boat_

_That can carry two_

_And both shall row_

_My true love and I”_

 

I grabbed my towel off the hook by the shower.  I smiled as I toweled my hair dry.  Erwin would always harmonize if I was singing and I loved the way our voices sounded together, not that I would ever tell him that.

 

The next day, at practice, I walked in early, as usual.  Everyone else seemed to take hours to arrive.  Really, what could those shitheads be doing?  It was a Friday afternoon.  Then everyone was there except for Erwin.  How unlike him.  He was usually five minutes late at most.  

 

Then he walked in.  A brown-haired boy walked in after him.  His eyes were a bit downcast and he looked nervous.  Then he looked up.  And I know it sounds stupid, but his eyes really were the windows to his soul.  They were a beautiful green.  His eyes met mine for a second before he quickly glanced away, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.  Those eyes were full of memories.  

 

“Hello guys, this is..”  Erwin said.

 

“..Eren.” I finished for him under my breath.

 

I knew him.  It seemed like I had known him for hundreds or thousands of years.  It was Eren, Eren Jaeger.  I couldn’t place it, but I knew he was familiar.  I already knew the way he would frown if he were annoyed or lash out if someone insulted him.  I already knew that he had been put upon and beleaguered through his short life.  And I already knew he had an overprotective sister who would most likely chop me up into little pieces if I put one finger on Eren.

 

“Eren, would you mind singing for us?  This is an a cappella group.”

 

Eren nodded, glancing around awkwardly.  Then he opened his mouth.

 

_“The water is wide…”_

 

My breath stopped.   _This song…?_  And I felt like this song somehow connected us.  I knew how much the song meant to me.  Was it just a coincidence that he had chosen it?

 

_“And neither have_

_I wings to fly.”_

 

And the image that had been avoiding me for so long came to me.  It was a pair of wings, one white and one blue.  It was the symbol of freedom.  I let a small smile curve my lips.  I could almost feel the song resonating with my soul. _Godammit, I’m getting sappy_.  I complained.  But try as I might, my face didn’t want to rearrange itself; I liked smiling.

 

He stopped singing.  The last of his beautiful soaring tenor died away.  He had a gorgeous voice, truly.  My face slid out of the smile and into my normal expression.  It was then that I realized my arms were crossed so tightly that they were going numb.  I quickly averted this crisis.  It wouldn’t do to drop something because my arms were numb.

 

I left practice that day with a memory that would stay with me for the rest of my life.  Eren was in my life again, so it felt complete.  I sat down to study for the end of term exams.  As a medical student, I didn’t exactly have loads of free time, but I loved singing.  I found myself humming “the Water is Wide” while studying.  I chuckled slightly at the odd juxtaposition of the song and the diagrams in the textbook in front of me.

 

We had four weeks until our final concert of the year, my final concert in the group ever.  Erwin would be leaving this year as well.  And Eren, I wondered what year he was in.  Erwin had told us that a new person would be joining, but I hadn’t expected this.  I figured it would be some sloppy new kid who had trouble holding a pitch.  I guess I was always a bit cynical though.

 

The image of Eren singing floated into my head.  The diagrams of various symptoms and diseases were growing harder and harder to focus on.  I heard a laughing voice pass my study room in the library.  I scowled.  I was trying to study.  I glanced up to see who the offender was.  I saw a short boy with blonde hair walking next to someone who looked very familiar.   _Eren_.  He turned towards me but I glanced away.  He didn’t need to know I had been trying to catch a glimpse of him.

 

Eren picked up the songs we were singing for the concert remarkably fast even though he said the only thing he had heard before was “the Water is Wide.”  One week before the final concert, and my exams were finished.  I actually had time to relax which was a wonderful feeling after a year of constant hard work.  

 

The concert rolled around.  We were lined up in white button-down shirts and black pants ready to go on stage.  It was my fifth year doing this.  The lights on the stage were familiar, and I didn’t even have a hint of nerves.  I glanced to one side.  Eren was shifting slightly but his face looked calm.  The concert went beautifully.  Everyone had practiced well.  

 

The last song sent shivers down my spine.  And there was one particular voice I singled out.  Eren’s rendition of ‘The Water is Wide” will never be bettered.  The song ended too quickly, the notes fading off into resounding applause.  It was the last time I would be on this stage.  I took a final look out over the cheering audience before leaving.  

  
I would be packing up in three days time.  I already had an apartment in my hometown and would be moving there to find work.  It wasn’t going to be easy.  I watched as Eren’s friends found him after the performance.  I smiled as I turned away.  I was just happy that he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you like this chapter :) I just think the song is beautiful and I would suggest listening to it. Anyway, comments/suggestions/whatever are always welcome! Thank you for reading :D


	14. An Unlikely Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets Eren in an unlikely place... yay, creative chapter title! *not*

 

It had been a year since he died, leaving me with nothing but a broken heart and not a penny to my name.  Five years ago when he picked me up off of the streets felt like a lifetime ago, but that didn’t matter now.  He had disappeared from my life in an instant.  Being a police officer in my old neighborhood was dangerous, and I knew that.   But it still came as a horrible shock.  

 

Snow swirled around me as I stood staring at the headstone.  It was a simple slab of rock, with his name carved into it: Erwin Smith.  I laid the bouquet of flowers next to the grave.  I didn’t cry.   I was done with tears, but I stood still.  I stood there for until the night descended around me.

 

Then I heard the sound of muffled footsteps nearby and whipped around.  I preferred not to be seen here by anyone I knew.  It was private.  A man probably only a few years younger than me was walking along the row next to where I was standing.  He had his hood pulled up, and was using a flashlight to see where he was going.

 

He knelt down and lay a single flower and stood up.  He spoke silent words to the heavens as he turned his gaze upwards and I saw tears staining his face.  He wiped them away almost angrily and turned to walk away.  Something about him, though, seemed familiar.  I wanted so much not to be seen, but my curiosity got the better of me.

 

I took a step towards him.  He froze at hearing the noise behind him.

 

“Excuse me?” I asked softly.  It was hard to make out even his outline in the falling darkness.

 

He let the arm holding the flashlight fall limply by his side.  He turned around slowly.

 

“Yes?” He asked warily.

 

I took a step closer.  I wanted to see him, to know who it was.  I took another step forward.  I could just make out his features now.  His eyes were wide and looking at me.  They were reflecting starlight in their green depths.  His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth set in a determined line.  His gaze was turned towards me as well, and I felt a shiver of something as we acknowledged each other.

 

“Have we met somewhere?” He said uncertainly.

 

“I don’t know.” I replied.  It was an honest answer.

 

His face seemed so familiar like it was that of a lost friend, but I could not recall a single memory of him.  

 

He took a step towards me.  I closed the remaining gap between us so there were mere inches of intervening space.  I had to look up to look him in the eye, but I didn’t really mind.  Usually, I would have either kicked out or run away if anyone had gotten this close to me.  But there was something about this that felt familiar.

 

I froze when I felt a hand touch my face.  Then I looked into his eyes.  They were open, honest, and I was a good judge of people.  He meant no harm.

 

“Levi.” He whispered as if remembering something from a great while ago.

 

How had he known my name?  Had we met before?  But then I remembered his name.  

 

“Eren?” I questioned.  But I was sure of it.

 

He didn’t answer in words, but he wrapped his arms around me dropping his flashlight as he did so.  The memories came flooding back.  Why had I never told him?

  
As we walked away side-by-side, my eye fell on the grave with a single flower upon it.  Armin Arlet.  I wondered what had happened.  But with Eren in my life again, those questions could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm hoping to update more quickly in the future. But thank you so much to all you lovely people who have read this, I really appreciate it. As always, I love hearing your comments/criticism and suggestions! Thank you!!! <3


	15. Between the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit too little, too late. C'mon, I'm bad at summaries... just read the chapter :)

_Eren_.  That was all I could think of.   _Why did that brat have to leave me?_ He was young, only 23.  He had a rare condition that caused a small accident to turn into a catastrophe.  He was biking home one night when he got into an accident, but he had only broken one leg and only had a few bruises.  He was usually so strong, so determined.  The will to fight never left his eyes even in his last few minutes.  

 

_“Ne, Levi, can you hold my hand?  I want to feel connected to someone before I die.”  I had stretched out my hand to enclose his.  His hand felt cold in mine.  His green eyes lacked some of their usual lustre, but he smiled at me.  That stupid grin made my heart shiver.  Was he really going to die?_

 

I was sitting next to Mikasa at the funeral.  She hadn’t spoken a word to me since Eren had passed away, and I couldn’t stand to talk to her about it either, so we sat in silence.  Armin was on Mikasa’s other side silently letting the tears run down his cheeks as he stared at the casket in front of us.  I felt myself starting to crack.  I had so much time to talk to Eren, to tell him the way I felt, but I hadn’t.  Why was I such a coward?

 

It had been the same in my dreams, the recurring dreams of titans and flying through the trees.  I would always look at Eren, my squad member, but I wouldn’t say anything.  His green eyes would only meet mine for a second before he would turn away.  I couldn’t understand why.  Was he afraid of me?  I cursed under my breath.  

 

Seeing numerous acquaintances of Eren’s in black clothing and the man in a dark suit standing at the front talking seemed to close the door my mind had been holding open.   _Eren is dead.  He’s not coming back._  The reality of it was hitting me even more than it had when I felt his hand go limp in mine.  I had not cried.  When Eren died, I just felt empty, and I couldn’t bring myself to cry.  But now, I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes.  How many years was it since I cried?  Ten?  Fifteen?  Twenty?  And here I was sobbing over one lousy brat.

 

I stood up quickly.  I couldn’t be here with all of Eren’s friends.  All the people that he loved, that he held close.  I knew some of their faces, and only a few of their names.  Mikasa and Armin didn’t even look up as I slipped out of our row of chairs.  It was too much.

 

Time passed by as a wandered around.  No one else was here.  It was a misty day, and the  sky was grey.  And for the first time in my life I prayed.  I prayed that Eren was in heaven, that he was happy, and that I would see him again.  I was staring up into the heavens when I heard movement behind me.  I turned.  Mikasa was standing there.  She hadn’t cried either, but her eyes looked a little red and the deadness in them was frightening.

 

She held out something in her right hand.  It was a letter.  After hesitating for a moment, I reached out my hand and took it.  I saw “Levi” written on the back of it in Eren’s scrawling handwriting.  I froze.  I didn’t want to read this in front of Mikasa so I turned away.  She seemed to understand and I could hear her footsteps receding.  My hands shook as I tore open the envelope.  The paper inside was folded messily.  I unfolded the letter.

 

_Dear Levi,_

_If you’re reading this, then I have already left your world.  But right now, I’m sitting in my hospital bed.  You just walked out the door a couple minutes ago.  But I’m not writing this to tell you what I am doing now, I wanted to tell you something.  I love you.  I was just too scared to tell you.  I know you don’t feel the same, but I just wanted you to know.  I’m sorry, Levi.  But maybe we’ll meet again._

_Goodbye,_

_Eren_

  
My hands shook as I read the letter.   _Why was I so stupid?_  I should have seen it; I should have told him.  But it’s too late now.  I should have noticed what was left unsaid, because our love was always between the lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading :) I'm sorry this chapter was a bit depressing... but I'll try to lighten the mood up next time. As always, feedback is always welcome. And I love seeing your suggestions for new chapters! XD


	16. Math Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is advanced for his age. He walks into a high-level math course, and sees someone who brings back memories...

Math Class

 

It was another first day of school.  There would be new people and new classes.  My classes were all intro level except for math, which I had passed out of based on my exam scores.  And, oh lucky me, I had calculus 201 that day.  

 

The room was smaller than I had expected probably because most people don’t particularly like math and don’t pursue it at a college level.  I chose a seat near the back, not wanting to stand out.  I was sure all of my classmates would be upperclassmen who would look down on me.  I sighed.  I hated being shorter than everyone.  I had been average height until about fifth grade, and then I started falling behind.

 

I looked up when I heard a commotion at the door.  A girl with jet black hair was dragging a boy into the room.

 

“Eren, grow up already.” She commanded.  “It’s time for class.”

 

“Ow!” He complained and managed to shake free of her grip.

 

“I didn’t even want to take this class, but somebody just had to put my name down on the list.  You just don’t want me out of your sight, do you?”  He scowled as he walked up to the back of the classroom.

 

He sat down next to me with a huff.  The girl was glaring up at him,  but didn’t move.  Then another person walked in.  He was a short boy with blonde hair.  

 

“Hey, Mikasa, let’s get seats.”  He tugged on her arm.

 

She gave the boy next to me one more glare and took a seat at the front of the room.  I looked at him.  His wide green eyes were staring pointedly out of the window and his backpack was lazily dumped on the floor.  The rest of the class floated in.  Ten minutes later, the professor walked in.  She had round glasses and a slightly crazed look about her.  

 

“Hello everyone!”  She cried excitedly.

 

I sighed, and pulled out a notebook.

 

The boy next to me didn’t move.  All around us, people were reaching in their bags for pencils and highlighters.  Over the next few minutes she took attendance.  

 

“Eren!”  She called.

 

“Here.” The boy next to me replied.

 

Something about his name sounded a bit familiar.  I pushed the thought out of my head.  I was here to learn.

 

“Levi!” She called a few minutes later.

 

“Present.” I responded.

 

The boy next to me turned.  I got a good look at his face for the first time.  His frown deepened, but he turned back to stare out of the window.  

 

When the lecture started, he grudgingly found a piece of paper and pen to take notes with.  His handwriting was messy.  When professor Hanji asked a question of us, I was surprised when Eren raised his hand.  He got the question right.  I smiled slightly.  He glanced at me, and I looked away.  I felt the heat rising in my face and stared forward.

 

The class passed quickly.  At the end, I packed up quickly.  It was nearly lunch time and I was hungry.  I followed Eren out of class, not sure exactly which way to go.  I stood at the door, wondering what I should do.  Eren doubled back.

 

“Hey, come eat lunch with us.” He jerked his head towards his two friends who were already halfway down the hallway.  

 

The girl looked like she was about to kill me, but the blond-haired boy smiled at me.  In the end, I decided to go with them.  The three of them were Juniors which was a bit awkward at first.  Eren and Armin didn’t seem to mind, but Mikasa gave me a withering look.  

 

On the days we had class together, I would hang around with the three of them through lunch.  I found myself turning red more than was normal in Eren’s presence, but he didn’t seem to notice.  To him, I’m sure we were just friends.  I was just a freshman after all.  Mikasa seemed a bit protective of Eren, and I was honestly a bit terrified of her.

 

During class though, Eren and I would sit in the back.  We were both favorite students of Professor Hanji’s.  She never complained when we were passing notes or stifling laughter over a private joke.  Eren would always greet me with a smile, but he also seemed so distant.  It felt weird watching his back as he walked away with his friends after lunch.

 

The semester was passing quickly.  The time that it was certain I would see Eren twice a week was coming to a close.  Two weeks before its end, I began to have nightmares.  The first of which was before the Monday calculus class.  

 

I walked in an uncharacteristic three minutes late.  Eren had been doodling absentmindedly in the corner of his notebook, but he looked up when I went to my usual seat.  With a jolt, I saw that he had been drawing a pair of wings like I had seen in my dream.  It was clearly a coat of arms, and one wing was dark and the other white.  I stared for a moment before coming to myself again.  I stifled a yawn as I extracted a notebook from my bag.

 

Eren was staring at me weirdly.  

 

“What?”  I mouthed at him.

  
“It’s just… I’ve never seen you yawn before.”  He turned to face the front of the room again.

 

I frowned slightly.  I had always tried to be in control of myself in front of others, that was true, but it was still odd to have Eren point something like that out.  During the course of the lesson, I answered a few of Hanji’s questions wrong, an unusual occurrence for me.  I was walking out the door after class, thinking about going to take a nap instead of eat lunch, when Eren tapped me on the shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?”  His green eyes were full of concern.

 

I nodded stiffly, and tried to walk away from him.  He grabbed my shoulder.

 

“You don’t look okay.  What’s up?”

 

It was a strict policy of mine not to talk to people about anything personal.  I glared at him, but he didn’t let go.  Then Mikasa walked up.

 

“Eren, you’re going to lunch.  You have to eat.”

 

She  dragged him away.  He gave me one last look before he was pulled out of sight.  I was more than a little shaken.  Part of me really wanted to tell him about the nightmares.

 

Mikasa walked back.

 

“Don’t tell him.”

 

I stared at her.  

 

“What?”  I was perplexed.

 

“Don’t tell him.  Eren.  He doesn’t remember.”

 

“What?” I repeated, still confused.

 

“You’ve started having the nightmares, too, right?  Don’t tell Eren about it, he doesn’t need to know.”

 

“How did you-” I started to ask.

 

“Everyone else has had them.  Everyone else remembers what happened.”  Her stern face broke. “Eren had the worst experience out of all of us.”

 

Her face was pained as she said it.

 

“What happened?”  My curiosity was getting the better of me.

 

“Just stay away from Eren.  I’m sure you’ll understand in time.”

 

She turned on her heel and walked away.  My heart was beating faster than usual and I could feel it pounding in my chest.  Leave Eren?  I wondered if I could.  Could I really just walk out of his life?  If it was for his sake, of course I could.  My hands clenched into fists.  I would do anything for him.  It was stupid, but I really would do anything for the sake of that brat.

 

The next class I sat towards the side of the room.  When Eren walked in, his eyes met mine.  His green eyes were full of concern and confusion.  I turned away.  It would be so much easier if we weren’t in the same class. But then again, there were only two more sessions after that one.  I looked down and tried to focus on the math, but my hands were shaking.  I wanted to talk to him, to explain just a little.  By the end of the ninety-minute period, I had made up my mind to talk to Eren.

 

But the stars were not lined up in my favor.  Mikasa pushed Eren out of the classroom as quickly as possible, which left me with no chance to even say “goodbye” to him.  The rest of the class pushed past me as I stood by the doorway wishing that there was some way that I didn’t have to walk away.  I watched Eren’s back as he walked down the hallway with Mikasa and Armin.

 

I felt the tears starting to blur my vision.  I cursed myself for being weak.   _He’s only one person._  I tried to reason with myself.  But the tears were falling faster.  My paces picked up speed as I rushed out of the building.  I ignored the stares from all the people around me; they wouldn’t understand.  It started to rain.  I splashed my way all the way back to my dorm room.  For once, I ignored the mud splattering.  I locked the door behind me. _It’s all for him.  It’s for his own good._  I reminded myself.

 

I sank onto the floor.  Images of titans and blood were running through my head.  I had done something stupid.  I remembered lying on the cold ground.  I had died in some stupid attempt of being the hero.  I clutched my forehead.  It was my fault.  He had taken the burden of humanity’s hope on his shoulders because I had left him with it.  I could only imagine the pressure he would have had to bear from his friends, his  commander, and from the rest of humanity.

  
 _I’m sorry._  I thought as if the words would reach him.   _I’m sorry, Eren.  Forgive me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! (Sorry for the uncreative title... I couldn't think of anything else!) Anyhow, I hope you like this chapter :) And, as always, I love hearing comments and ideas. Thank you!!! <3


	17. Instability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is an intern to a psychologist. On his first day, a new patient comes in. His name is Eren Jaeger.

I had recently graduated from medical school.  People said I was a promising psychologist, but I wasn’t as sure.  I had a six-month-long internship at a particular institution.  And today was the day I started.  It felt weird to be so far away from all the people I had spent years training with.  In particular, my favorite teacher, Erwin, would be missed.  He always had logical approach to things, and he was the greatest psychologist I knew.

 

Among my new coworkers was a young woman named Petra.  We were working the same shifts.  As we were both interns, our job was simple.  We would watch what the “real doctors” did, and if we were lucky, they would let us help out.  I sighed; this was supposed to be hard work.

 

The psychologist I would be working with most was a woman named Hanji.  To me, she seemed insane, but I couldn’t really complain.  

 

“Levi, we’re getting a new patient soon.  Go check if the room is ready.”  Hanji instructed me.

 

She got a slightly manic look in her eye as she said “new patient” so I walked off to check the room.  It was, indeed, ready.  I walked back.

 

“It’s ready.”  I told Hanji.

 

“Wonderful.” She exclaimed.

 

A few minutes later, the door opened.  I heard Hanji greeting the new patient.

 

“Hello!  My name is Dr. Hanji.  You’re Eren Jaeger, I presume?”

 

I looked up at the sound of that name.  Petra glanced at me from across the room.  Do I know a Jaeger?  I racked my brains for someone with that name, but I couldn't think of anyone.  The sense that I should remember him bothered me.

 

A few minutes later, Hanji walked through the door with her arm gripping a young mans.  He was taller than me.  His green eyes were bright with emotion, but he was following Hanji compliantly.  It was hard to believe that this boy had been sent to a psychological institution like this.

 

Hanji led him to his room.  Petra and I watched from the doorway of our station.  A little while later, Hanji brought us in so we could introduce ourselves.  Eren stared at me when I walked in.  He frowned as he looked at my face.  I felt uncomfortable facing his intense gaze.

 

"Corporal?"  He asked softly.  

 

I glanced at Hanji, but she didn't offer any guidance.  

 

"I'm Levi."  I extended my hand to him In greeting.  

 

"I know.  You used to kick me if I called you Levi though."  

 

He didn't take my hand, and his eyes focused on me unwaveringly.  I was a bit unnerved by his announcement.  After a few moments more, he turned to Petra.

 

"Hi Petra."  He said.  "I'm sorry about that time..."

 

He trailed off uncomfortably.  He turned back to Hanji.  

 

"So, what do I do here?"

 

"Just be good.  Lunch is soon.  There's a common room where you can spend your time if you want.  You'll have a talk with me, later this afternoon."  She smiled at him.

 

"Well, I have to go visit Marco now."  

 

She got up out of her chair.  Eren was frowning.  

 

"Marco Bodt?"  He asked quietly.  

 

Hanji paused and looked back at him.

 

"Yes.  Is he a friend of yours?"

 

"Sort of."  Eren muttered.

 

Hanji left the room.  Petra followed her in fairly short order.  As I turned to go, Eren stopped me.

 

"Do you remember?"  

 

I looked at him.  His gaze made me feel almost guilty for not remembering.  I shook my head.

 

"No, I'm sorry.  I don't."

 

I walked out of the room, too.

 

I didn't see Eren until the next day.  He ran into me while walking to breakfast.  He greeted me with a cheery "good morning corporal."  I merely nodded in response not quite sure how to react.  

 

Hanji came to talk to Petra and I later.  She asked us how we thought things were going and such.  She assigned me to daily check-ins with a few patients.  One of whom was Eren.  My job was simple, but I felt a bit awkward being the one to talk to Eren.  

 

Our first session was after lunch.  I asked him what he'd thought of things so far.  Apparently, he was surprised by the number of people he "remembered."  Marco, a boy who had bad post traumatic stress disorder; Annie who was severely antisocial; Sasha who had an eating disorder; and so on.  I was honestly surprised.  He knew more of the names of people here than I did.

 

Other than the fact that he remembered a whole past that involved a number of people, including my favorite psychologist Erwin, Eren seemed perfectly normal.  As time wore on, I found myself developing quote a soft spot for him.  In my free time, I would visit with him.  We would have long conversations about the world as it “used to be.”  Part of me started to believe his stories about the titans and so on, but part of me never did.

 

There was something in his green eyes that made me want to trust him and to believe the stories he told.  It was a harsh world, then, or so he told me.  There were times that he would trail off and we would sit in silence, too.  He especially liked telling me about _Corporal Levi_ , humanity’s strongest soldier.  Some of the time he would laugh with me about my accomplishments, because it seemed ridiculous now in the 21st century.

 

Too soon, my six-month internship was coming to a close.  A few days before I had to leave, I told Eren.  He took it worse than I thought I would.  

 

“You’re leaving me?”  He said flatly in response to my announcement.

 

I frowned unsure of how I should respond.  He sighed and turned away from me.  I saw his shoulders shaking.  He was crying.   _Goddammit, now what do I do?_  I cursed.  I reached out tentatively to put a hand on his shoulder.  He slapped it away viciously.

 

“Don’t fucking touch me.”  He cried without looking at me.

 

I turned on my heel and walked out of the room.  I had never been good with understanding other people.  I wondered why I had ever thought I could be a good therapist.   _Maybe I will go join the military._  The door slammed shut behind me.  I walked down the hallway to where Hanji and Petra were talking.  I had half a mind to quit right there.

 

Both of them turned when they heard me approaching.  I walked past them.  I needed space.

 

“Levi!” Petra called after me.

 

“Not now.” I nearly spat at her.

 

She recoiled slightly, and I felt a twinge of guilt.  I ignored it though, and headed for the door that led outside.  The chill of autumn air met me as I opened the door.  A weak sun was shining half-heartedly through the clouds.  I gripped the railing of the short stairway that led down to the sidewalk below.  I stared forward;  I was thinking.  My knuckles turned white with the force that I was using to hang onto the railing.

 

I shivered in the cold, but I didn’t want to go back inside.  I had let Eren down, and I felt terrible about it.  Tears were brimming in my eyes.  I wiped them away angrily.  I couldn’t let myself break down.  

 

The door creaked open behind me.

 

“Levi?”  It was Petra.  She still seemed a little scared of me and was staying close to the door.

 

“What?” I shot at her.  I didn’t care that I was being harsh.

 

“I talked to Eren.”

 

I didn’t react.  I kept staring at the trees in front of me waiting for her to continue.

 

“You should talk to him.”

 

I didn’t move.  Talking to him would be like putting salt on a wound.  It already hurt to leave, but seeing him made me feel that much worse.

 

I heard Petra sigh.  Then the door opened and closed again.  I was alone once more.  I wished my internship would last longer, but I knew the time was set.  I had already asked Hanji about an extension, but she had refused.  They were closely tied to the school I had graduated from, and two new interns would be coming in.  I looked up at the sky.

 

In a sudden gust of wind, a bird flew out of nearby tree.  I watched it as it flapped its wings.  It reminded me of the wings of freedom that Eren had told me about.   _Eren_.  I thought bitterly.

 

The final days of my internship were tense.  Petra switched me and I didn’t see Eren until the last day.  I came in that morning to say goodbye to my colleagues and the patients I had worked with.  Petra arrived at the same time as I did.  Hanji tearfully told us that we were both wonderful and wished us bright futures.  Most of the residents on the floor gathered in the common room to send us off.  I looked around the room.  Eren wasn’t there.

 

I sighed.  I wanted to say goodbye to him properly, but I couldn’t if he wasn’t even present.   _Damn him_.  I half-heartedly cursed.  I walked out first.  Petra had always been more social and was still saying her goodbyes.  On my way out, I passed by Eren’s room.  I paused for a second debating whether or not I should knock.  The door opened before I could decide.

 

Eren was standing there.  His face was stony, but his eyes were a bit red.  He sniffed, and said something I couldn’t quite make out.  

 

“What?”  I asked.  

 

He turned his gaze away from me and spoke to the door frame.

 

“I’m sorry.”  He muttered.

 

 _What the hell is he sorry for?_  It was me who should be sorry for leaving him.

 

“Don’t apologize.” I told him, perhaps a little more sternly than I intended.

 

He looked back at me.  His eyes were brimming with tears.

 

“I guess this is goodbye then.”  I said awkwardly.

 

“Yeah.”

 

His arms were around me before I could say anything more.  I was frozen for a few seconds.   _This shouldn’t be happening.  It’s against code._ One little voice in my brain said.  I chose to ignore that.  I clutched him to me.  Slowly, reluctantly we broke apart.

 

“I’m sorry.” Sniffed Eren.

 

“Don’t apologize.” I reminded him as I turned away.

 

I walked towards the door quickly, not wanting him to see my tears.  By the time I reached the taxi waiting for me, I could hardly see.  I threw myself in the backseat.  I looked out the window as the gray walls of the institution faded from view.  My hands clenched into fists.  I had to move on.  I wiped the tears away.  

  
_Goodbye, Eren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you like this chapter :) It was based off of a suggestion from Ashlyn. 
> 
> As always, I love hearing from you guys. Comments/criticism/suggestions are always welcome! <3


	18. Come Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi visits the same bar every day, dwelling on his past. But one day, a few new people walk in, and they all look just a little familiar.

The sign hanging over the door of the bar was flickering.  I honestly didn’t know why I came here everyday.  Maybe it had something to do with memories, or maybe it was fate.  Freezing rain swirled around me as I walked down the street.  Out of habit, I checked behind me before pushing the door open.

 

The inside was familiar.  It was a small place, and a bit out of the way for the students of Trost College.  I liked the quiet atmosphere.  The man behind the bar looked up.  His blonde hair was slicked back, and his face cracked into a smile.  

 

“The usual?” Erwin asked with a grin.

 

I nodded.  He was the closest thing I had to a friend.  He didn’t pry, and I liked that about him.  Most people asked awkward questions, they wanted to know me too much.  I didn’t want to have to retell my tale of woe.  It was bad enough that I dreamt about it every night.  I took off my hat and placed it on the bar.  I would sit there for fifteen minutes, maybe longer if I actually felt like talking to Erwin, and then I would leave.

 

I reached into my pocket and dumped a number of coins on the table.  Erwin started to count them.

 

“Just take it all.”  I muttered.

 

He paused his counting, then put the money away.  The bar was quiet.  I was the only customer at the time, and the peace was comforting in a way.  Then the door banged open.  Damn those college students.  I downed the rest of my drink quickly.  I was already standing when the three kids reached the bar.

 

“Three beers.” A dark-haired girl said as she slammed her friend into the bar.

 

The boy wriggled free of her grip.

 

“Ouch, Mikasa, try to be a little more gentle.”  He complained.

 

Then he looked up at me.  Really, he just glanced, but I was frozen.  I hesitated with my hand half-outstretched to pick up my hat.  There was a definite spark in his green eyes.

 

“Hey, do I know you?” He asked.

 

“No.” I turned away intending to leave.

 

“Why don’t you come have a drink with us?”  He called from behind me.

 

I had half a mind to run, but I seemed rooted to the spot.  I turned back around.

 

“All right, brat.”  He didn’t flinch at the insult.

 

Instead he smiled.

 

“My name is Eren.” He held out his right hand.

 

I clasped it briefly.  

 

“Levi.” I nodded as our hands parted contact.

 

“Let’s get a table over here.”  It was the short blonde boy.

 

Eren and I followed him to a table off to the side.  Fairly quickly, I learned that his name was Armin and the girl’s was Mikasa.  They were indeed students at Trost College and it was Eren’s 21st birthday.  Mikasa walked over holding three bottles.  She stopped when she saw me.

 

“Who invited the midget?”  She glared at us.

 

“I did.” Said Eren matter-of-factly.  

 

Mikasa sighed.

 

“Here.” She handed one of the bottles to him. “Go ahead.”

 

He did as he was told coughing a little after his first sip.  It was soon obvious that he had very little alcohol tolerance.  His cheeks were flushed, but his words were still reasonably clear.  After another bottle or so all around, Eren was definitely in the worst shape.  Mikasa, who showed no signs of drunkenness, gave him a look as he spilled half his fourth beer down his shirt.

 

“Let’s go back to the apartment.” She said sternly.

 

Eren looked up at her.

 

“Why Mikasa?  I feel fine.”  He laughed.

 

“We’re going.”  She said as she hoisted his left arm over her shoulders.

 

Without really thinking, maybe I had had a few too many myself, I took Eren’s other arm.  I walked with them back to their apartment.  The three of them shared one floor in a house on the edge of the Trost College campus.  Armin unlocked the door with a click and flicked the lights on.

 

Mikasa and I took Eren to one of the bedrooms.  He wasn’t too badly drunk, but he fell onto the bed the moment we let go of him.  Mikasa left quickly, stumbling a little on her way out.  Apparently she wasn’t completely unaffected by alcohol.  Armin appeared in the doorway, and the two of them stumbled off out of sight.

 

I glanced behind me.  Eren was lying spread-eagled on his bed, but his eyes were open.  He stared at me.  After a while, I broke eye contact with him intending to leave.  I knew I shouldn’t stay.  I hardly knew them.  I walked towards the doorway.

 

“Levi…” It was Eren.

 

He had spoken just loudly enough for me to hear.  I froze with my hand on the doorframe, wondering if I should just run and ignore the person behind me.  Eren propped himself up on his elbows.

 

“Levi, stay with me.”  He implored me with his eyes, and something inside of me cracked.

 

I walked back over and kicked off my shoes.

 

“Scoot over.”

 

He clumsily moved over to one side of the bed.  I dumped my jacket and my hat on a convenient chair.  I sat on the edge of the bed.  A part of my brain was still telling me to leave, but I was in too far.  Eren ripped his jacket off and tossed it on the floor.

 

“It’s hot in here.” He complained.

 

He was lying on top of the covers with his arms crossed.  After a couple minutes, sighed again.

 

“It’s still so warm.”  He said, ripping off his T-shirt.

 

I couldn’t help staring a little.  Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice.

 

“C’mon, I’m tired.” He said a moment later.

 

He pulled me from my sitting position.  I was so shocked that I didn’t complain.  With his face so close to mine, the room seemed to be heating up.   _Damn_. I thought.  But my judgement seemed to be absent, and my own shirt landed on the floor somewhere.  I didn’t even care.

 

I woke up in the morning in a tangle of skin.  We had moved closer together in our sleep, and Eren’s face was mere inches from mine.  I had a raging headache, but my reason seemed to have returned.   _What the fuck am I doing?  He’s nine years younger than me._ The realization hit me hard, and I started to extract myself from him.

 

I stumbled off the bed.  I was still a bit groggy.  I found my shirt quickly, and pulled it over my head.  I really was an idiot.  I had promised myself never to let myself go like that.  I shoved my shoes on my feet and didn’t tie them.  With a last look at the boy sleeping peacefully on his bed, I walked towards the door grabbing my jacket and hat from the chair on my way.

 

“I’m never going to forget you, corporal.”  Eren muttered only half awake.

  
I hesitated for only a moment.  Then I ran trying to forget the boy with green eyes.


	19. Ghosts of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Halloween... a masquerade.

 

It was thirteen days before Halloween.  In my opinion, the tradition of small children dressing up as vampires and pirates and what not was slightly annoying.  I didn’t really think much of the holiday, and never had.  I was walking home past houses with jack-o-lanterns leering at me from the windowsills.  I was crossing the street to my dorm when it happened.

 

One moment, I was walking normally, the next, I was lying face down on the asphalt.  My breath was coming in short gasps, and there was something sticky dripping down my face.   _Tch_.  It was blood.  I got up slowly, shaken, but not really injured, and rushed into my dorm room.  The thing that disturbed me most was not that I had randomly passed out, but that I had scene a boy reaching out to me as I had fallen.  His face had been blurry.  And that really bothered me.

 

Later I was standing in the bathroom.  Looking in the mirror, I saw the scrape across my forehead.  It was unfortunate that it was in such an obvious place.  I would have questions to answer when I went to class.  My face was paler than usual.  My homework would have to wait for tomorrow.  I was going to bed.

 

Life went on normally for a day or so.  Then I passed out again.  This time, I was brought to the nurse by a grad student.  He was one of the assistants in my class.  His name was Erwin Smith.  It was embarrassing to be carried, but he wouldn’t put me down.  The nurse told me to get some rest, so I skipped out on the rest of the day’s classes.

 

The passing out thing was really starting to bother me.   _What the fuck?_  It made no sense.  And every time I passed out, I saw that stupid boy reaching towards me.  His face had been clearer that time than it had been before.  Who was he?

 

Nine days before Halloween, and Hanji, an annoying classmate of mine, was forcing me to go to her Halloween party.  Well, masquerade ball, really.  Now I had to find a goddamn costume.  Ridiculous.  What the hell was I supposed to be?  I had schoolwork to catch up on, and little time to find something to wear for the masquerade.

 

I passed out again that day, but I was studying alone in the library.  No one noticed.  I had been sitting down, too.  It wasn’t as bad as the first two times.  And the boy had been there again.  His eyes were green.  His face was starting to haunt me even in my normal waking hours.  

 

The fainting episodes continued.  If anything they got worse.  I passed out in class again the next day.  The boy’s face was clearer.  I could see him.  But the problem was, he was always lurking in the back of my mind.  Just thinking of him was incredibly distracting.  

 

It was three days before Halloween.  Hanji showed up at my dorm room.  She knocked on the door.

 

“Oy, Levi, you’re still coming to the party right?”

 

I sighed.  There really wasn’t any way to say no to her.  I got up slowly and walked to the door.

 

“Yeah.  I’ll be there.”

 

“Great!”  She exclaimed.  “Here’s your costume.”

 

She handed me a bag and disappeared.  I closed the door. _Damn, now I really have to be there._  I looked down into the bag.  There was a stack of neatly folded clothes with a mask sitting on top.  It was a masquerade after all.  Curious to see what she had picked out, and a bit terrified of what it might be, I carefully pulled the clothes out.  It wasn’t awful.  I would be a vampire, apparently.  I smiled slightly.  This might be interesting.

 

The fainting episodes seemed to have stopped.  I made it all the way through the next few days without so much as feeling dizzy.  That didn’t change the fact that I saw the same face every time I closed my eyes.  My usual average of a high A in all of my classes was going down.  I couldn’t focus.

 

The time before I had to go to the party seemed to be slipping away.  Before I knew it, I only had half an hour to go.  I sighed, and found the bag that Hanji had given me a few days before.  It was a fairly simple outfit.  I had a white shirt with a ruffled collar, simple black pants, and a cape.  I slid the mask on last, carefully placing it so it didn’t mess up my hair.  It covered the top half of my face.  With a last check in the mirror, I left.

 

When I arrived at the party, it already seemed to be in full swing.  Quite a large number of people were gathered and everyone was masked.  Most of them seemed to be talking animatedly or dancing in happy couples, but I didn’t particularly feel like socializing.  Over to one side of the room, I saw a table with drinks on it, so I headed that way.  For a while I stood off to the side just watching.  It was interesting to see the variety of costumes and the varying levels of effort people had put into them.

 

I was rudely jolted from my thoughts when someone bumped into me.  It was evident that he had been pushed by one of the over-enthusiastic dancers and had tripped into me.  He looked up at me, and I think my heart stopped.  Gazing at me were a pair of perfect green eyes just like the ones that belonged to the boy I always saw when I passed out.  But that couldn’t be, could it?  That boy was just a figment of my imagination, whereas this one was real.  He hurriedly righted himself.

 

“I’m sorry.”  He said and turned to walk away.

 

“Wait.”  I said.  I’m not sure why.

 

He looked at me.  His green eyes were questioning.  I took a moment to look at his costume.  It was truly intricate.  He was wearing various shades of blue and green that complemented his eyes perfectly.  The pointed tips of his ears told me he was an elf.  A delicate array of gold jewelry made him look like a prince.  

 

“Dance with me.”  I told him.

 

He hesitated for a moment.  Then walked back to me.

 

“Sure.”  He said, and held out his arms.

 

He was a bit taller than I was, but he didn’t seem to mind that I was taking the lead.  His movements were graceful in a way that befitted his elven form.  The song slowed down.  He placed his arms gently around my neck as if daring me to move closer.  I couldn’t resist.  Usually I complained about getting close to others.  It was unpleasant.  But something was different here, his warmth was comforting and the weight of his arms on my shoulders made him feel real.

 

Time passes quickly when you’re having fun.  And before I knew it, it seemed that half of the people at the party had faded away.  The dance floor was much more open, and there were many more people around the edges of the room making out or just talking.

 

“Shall we sit?”  I asked, trying to stay casual.

 

“Sure.”

 

He nodded and we walked over to an empty space.  I got drinks for us after a few minutes, and we sat in silence, not sure what to say.  At first we were sitting with space between us, but by the time we were done drinking, he had his head on my shoulder.  If it had been anyone else, I would have pushed him off immediately.  As time passed on, he started to drift off to sleep.  I checked my watch, it was 1:34 in the morning.

 

I prodded him awake.  He jerked away for a moment, before seemingly remembering what was going on.

 

“I’ll drive you back.”  

 

He simply nodded and took my hand when I offered it to him.  He got to his feet heavily and stretched.  His outfit was fairly revealing, and as he stretched I saw the outlines of a perfect six-pack.  

 

“Come on.”  I said and offered him my arm.

 

We walked out together into the cool October air.  My cape billowed out behind me in a gentle breeze.  It seemed so peaceful then.  

 

We made our way to where I had parked a few hours before.  I opened the door for him and he stepped inside.  We rolled the windows down and listened to the sounds of the night as we drove back to campus.  Something inside of me had clicked with the person next to me.  I stopped the car in my usual parking space but didn’t move.

 

“Hey, can I see your face?”  His voice was quieter, more uncertain than it had been before.

 

I looked over at him.  The inside of the car was partially lit from the street lamps around us, but his face was mostly in shadow.  I pulled at the strings of my mask and slowly lifted it from my face, then I reached to remove his as well.  He didn’t resist.  As his mask came off, I saw the boy.  It was him, but who was he?

 

“It’s you.”  He murmured as we looked at each other for the first time.  And I knew what he meant.

 

“Yes, it’s me, Eren.”

 

He smiled.

  
“Levi,”  He whispered.  “I found you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry, it's been so long since I've updated :( I just get busy and lose track of time. Anyway, this was supposed to be for Halloween, but I kind of got sidetracked and procrastinated. But I hope you like it. And Happy (late) Halloween!


	20. Yes, sir!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in World War 2. Levi is a young captain in the Kriegsmarine. He leads a number of young soldiers. Based off of the German movie Das Boot.

I was one of the youngest captains of the Kriegsmarine.  But with times as they were in Germany in 1941, I was captain of U-835 at the age of 25.  I walked down the dock to meet my crew for the first time.  My first impression was that they were all too young.  None of them could be over the age of twenty.  

 

The general air of things was depressing for me, but the boys who stood in front of me were smiling.  Those smiles would soon disappear as they learned of the real troubles of being on a submarine.  I walked past them.  How many of them would die under my command?  The territory where we were going was by no means friendly.  Hardly any of our U-boats had made it back.

 

I continued onto the boat.  We were heading out.  A crowd bid us farewell, and I watched as the dock receded into the distance.  Perhaps this was the last time I would see that shore, perhaps not.  As I walked down the line, I got a better look at the faces of the men.  Most of them were nervous now that we were leaving, and I couldn’t blame them.  

 

A particular blonde boy with blue eyes looked sea sick.  His face was pale.  I kept going.  The next boy was taller with bright green eyes.  His eyes were full of determination, for what?  I had no idea, but he would be a hard worker.  Next to those two stood a soldier with grey eyes.  His face was a bit feminine, but he too looked extremely determined.

 

We went below decks as the ocean opened up before us.  The boat rocked gently, but all else was peaceful.  How long would it remain so?    

 

“Sir!”  It was the one with blue eyes.  

 

“Yes?  Arlert, was it?”  

 

He nodded quickly.

 

“Sir, y-yes, sir.  Here’s the first report from the radar.  There’s only another U-boat returning.  All else is clear.”

 

I nodded and he turned away quickly.  He seemed more nervous than the rest, but I had heard rumors from some of my colleagues that he was extremely smart.  Over the course of the next few days, I tried to learn the names of all the new people.  It wasn’t easy, there were so many.  But there were a few names, I hardly had to try to remember.  One of them was Eren.  Something about him stood out, but I couldn’t quite place it.  His brother, Michael, was very quiet and would only speak when I spoke directly to him.  

 

Almost ten days after we had left port, we had our first sighting of an enemy ship.  We dived quickly to avoid contact.  Depth charges detonated in the water around us, but the U-835 remained mostly unharmed.  After this incident, many of my men were much less excited about going to war and much more worried about their fates.  Some of them were taking the strain well, but others didn’t.  A boy named Kirschtein in particular seemed to be at his breaking point.  If it weren’t for another boy called Bodt that he had befriended, there may have been an incident.

 

As it was, I could easily tell that the men I had now were untrained and untested.  And we had orders that would not be easy to follow.  Our course was set to go through the Strait of Gibraltar on the way to our destination.  A miracle would have to happen for us to make it past the Royal Navy alive.  Everyday I looked at the men around me, knowing I was leading them to their watery graves.  And even as we drew closer, I avoided telling them.

 

“Sir!”

 

I looked up.  It was Eren with his face in his usual frown.

 

“Yes, Jaeger?”

 

He let his salute fall.  

 

“I had a question.”

 

I didn’t say anything.

 

“Armin, I mean, Arlert believes the course you ordered him to set is heading towards the Strait.”

 

He paused and his frown deepened.

 

“Are his assumptions correct, sir?”

 

I sighed.  I really should have known that someone would eventually figure out where we were going.  Perhaps I had even wished that someone else would tell them so I wouldn’t have to.  I looked up into the green eyes staring at me with a bright intensity. _He’s going to die._ My face hardened and I gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

 

The shitty brat stood there for a little while longer.  He didn’t break eye contact, and it felt like he was searching me for a hint of a lie.  I wish it had been a lie.  Then he abruptly turned to leave.

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

The door slammed shut behind him.  How long would it take until everyone found out?

 

I walked out of my quarters after half an hour.  To my surprise, it seemed the news hadn’t spread.  I passed Eren and his friends chatting quietly in their sleeping quarters.  My eyes met Eren’s for a fraction of a second as I passed.  He quickly looked away, and I continued walking.  Damn brat.  I thought as I walked away.

 

I called the crew to a meeting after that.  It was time to tell them.  We were only a few days away from the Strait and they had to prepared.  They had the expected reaction.  Their eyes widened in horror.  One of the dropped a bundle of letters he had meant to send home to his girlfriend at the first port we stopped at.  Only three faces looked unsurprised.  These were Eren, Michael, and Armin.

 

We were delayed in our course when another enemy vessel appeared.  We weren’t as lucky this time.  We dived again, hoping to wait until the other ship was far enough away to make an escape.  We had flooding to deal with, and the engine was malfunctioning.  Our luck was running out.  Depth charges shook the U-boat.  And we had our first casualty.  Of the people working in the torpedo room, all but one survived.  The last had his right side crushed as a result of a fallen torpedo and the flood of water rushing in.  

 

The leak was boarded up and the torpedo removed.  I looked down at the face of the first one who died.  His freckled features were distorted with his last feelings of agony.  Then I heard the agonized shout behind me.

 

“Marco!  Marco!”  It was Jean Kirschtein.

 

I went back to the navigator.  This was no time for mourning the dead.  We would number among them if we didn’t move quickly.  The boat shuddered and I glanced at the pressure meter.  We were deeper than we should be.  The walls creaked.  I looked at the boy at the helm.

 

“Keep us steady!”  I ordered him.

 

“I’m trying, sir!”  His face was sweaty.  It was Connie Springer.

 

He gritted his teeth as he pushed.  The pressure stopped rising.  We plugged the leaks quickly, and waited until the depth charges stopped dropping.  The U-boat creaked eerily as time passed by.  I hoped the walls would hold.  And finally, there was silence.  The radar was clear.  We began to rise to the surface slowly, and nothing happened.  We were still alive.

 

There was only a single day now before we reached the strait.  The sky was clouded and the wind strong.  Waves crashed against the sides of our boat.  We gave Marco Bodt a sailor’s funeral.  Jean watched him sink through the waves.  The first death was hard on all of us.  It proved in a way that death was a reality on these waters.  There was no guarantee that any of us would survive.

 

We kept going even as night fell.  The air was stormy, and I could tell rain was coming.  A storm would help us pass through the strait.  Soon enough, the storm hit.  The straight was only a few miles off.  We glided through the black water towards the narrow gap we had to pass through.  Visibility was bad, but radar would still be effective.  Our plan was to approach silently and dive.  Then we would ride the current through the strait and emerge unharmed on the other side.

 

However, plans hardly ever work out perfectly.  We were spotted even through the rain and the waves.  We dived quickly, but not quickly enough.  More depth charges than we had needed to endure before were dropped.  We sustained heavy damage, and lost steering capabilities.  The U-boat sank.  There was nothing to be done.

 

The pressure was off the meter by the time we came to rest on the ocean floor.  By some miracle, our boat had survived.  The pipes for pressure control kept coming undone, and bolts flew through the air like bullets.  Among the sweaty and scared faces of the men, there was still one that stood out.  Eren was glaring up at the ceiling as if he could get rid of the Royal Navy by pure will power.  

 

He was holding his hand to his waist, and I noticed blood.  He seemed almost unaware, but it needed to be treated.

 

“Jaeger.”  Heads turned.  It wasn’t common for the captain to do something like this.

 

“Get that attended to.”  His eyes met mine another time.  His determination was as strong as ever.

 

“Sir, I can’t do that right now sir.  There are leaks to be attended to and -”

 

“Jaeger, get that attended to.”  I didn’t care that many of the men were staring.

 

“Get a move on!”  I called to them.  

 

Eren was right that there were other things that needed fixing.  They ran off.  I grabbed Eren’s shoulder and pushed him down on a nearby cot.  There was a box of first aid items nearby, and though I was no doctor, I had some experience.  He pushed my hand away as I made to lift his shirt to see the wound.

 

“Shitty brat, what are you doing?”  I glared at him.

 

He gave me a half smile.  Had he hit his head on something, too?  I reached to check his skull for fractures, but he stopped the movement.

 

“Jaeger”  I said in a warning tone.  

 

His smile widened.

 

“Thank you.”  

 

I stopped trying to move.

 

“I’m glad I was able to serve under you.”  

 

He coughed and more blood stained his shirt.  I put my hand over the wound as if it would staunch the flow.  The increasing amount of blood running through my fingers was scaring me.  How many soldiers had I seen die?  Why was I so affected by this one?  I looked back into his face.

 

“I’m getting the doctor.”  He made to stop me, but I pushed him back.

  
“Lie still.  That is an order.”

 

He slumped back.  All I met was chaos as I made my way through the boat.  There were so many leaks, and so many nursing some kind of injury or another.  They looked at me with empty eyes as I walked by.  It was my fault, I knew it.  The walls creaked again.  How long would they hold out?  Did we have any chance?  I clenched my teeth.  It couldn’t be hopeless.  My mind flickered back to Eren.   _No, I can’t let him die._  I glanced around.   _I can’t let them die._

 

A few of the cots were occupied with injured men.  The doctor was leaning over one.  I walked up to him.  He looked up at my approach.

 

“Sir, we have an interesting case here.”

 

“What do you mean?”  I asked.

 

But I didn’t really need to ask.  I looked down at the face of one of Eren’s friends.  She looked up at me, her eyes full of frustration and shame.  There was blood.  Too much blood.  She wouldn’t make it.  

 

“Why?”  I questioned.  Why would she risk her life when she had no obligation to.

 

“I wanted to protect him… to protect Eren.”  My heart skipped a beat at the name.  

 

I put my hand on her shoulder.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect him.”  I promised her, and I really meant it.  

 

She gave me a weak smile.  Her body relaxed and I knew she was gone.  I turned to the doctor.

 

“Come with me.”  He followed without question.  

 

Eren was still lying where I had left him.  The doctor grimaced.

 

“First I have to get the bolt out.”  He said as he pushed Eren’s shirt up.  

 

Eren gave another half smile.

 

“It went all the way through.”

 

The doctor sighed slightly and pulled out a needle and thread.

 

“This is going to hurt a bit, but it’s the best we can do at the moment.”

 

Eren nodded slightly.  I knew from experience that it wasn’t pleasant to be sown up while conscious.  His face contorted in pain and his fingers clutched at the sheets.  He was panting by the time the doctor was done.  The white bandages wrapped around his waist were staining red despite the stitching.  The doctor hurried off to treat others.  Eren made to stand.

 

“No.”  I told him sharply.  I had to protect him.

 

I heard the echo of distant depth charges.  Both Eren and I looked at the ceiling.  It would be impossible for them to find us now, but maybe they would guess right.  The charges were getting uncomfortably close.  And the sounds started getting farther away.  I let out a breath I wasn’t aware of holding.  I glanced down at Eren and quickly released my tight grip on his shoulder.

 

The walls creaked more loudly.  The repairs were almost finished.  We had to hold out.  Only a little longer, a little longer.  But they didn’t.  I heard the rush of water in the distance, and a few pipes burst again.  It was over.  And as water leaked over the floor, Eren grabbed my hand.  I sat down next to him.  He was still so warm.  Our hands didn’t part contact.  

 

The water was up to my ankles now, and the creaking of the walls wouldn’t stop.  The water level was rising faster now.  I looked down at Eren who had his eyes closed.  I squeezed his hand but he didn’t react.   _No, he couldn’t be._  Eren.  I put my hands on both sides of his face.  He was already gone.  I felt tears spilling from my own eyes, something that hadn’t happened for years.

 

“Eren, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”  I said to him.

 

I stood up to stand in the middle of the room.  Eren looked peaceful now as he lay on the cot.  I looked towards the ceiling.  It was only a matter of time now before we were all dead.  I straightened my captain’s hat.  I would die like a captain.  I put my hand up in a final salute, and closed my eyes as the rose past my head.  It was over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I haven't written for a while :( I'll try to pick up the pace if I can. This one is based off of a German movie. I thought it fit because it seems like a lot of SnK characters have German names. Anyway, I know it's sad... I hope you liked the story though! As always, comments and feedback are appreciated :) Thanks!!! <3<3<3


	21. First Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he just a spectre of the past?

I was home for winter break.  The train I was riding jolted along through a snowy countryside.  I had three hours before I got home to the town where I had grown up.  I stared out the window just watching as white flakes floated down to the earth.

 

Snow was gently falling.  The sky was already dark, and a cold breeze stung my cheeks.  Lights were sparkling on every house.  A holiday spirit hung in the cold December air.  I smiled at the thought of seeing my family again.  My step quickened, and I could hear my shoes crunching through the thin layer of frost on the ground.  I walked up to 835 Titan street.  I stood for a moment, looking at the house I had grown up in.  I hadn’t even been gone for that long, but it was nice to feel like I was home.

 

I knocked on the door.  The spare key that used to be mine had been lost, so I had to stand on the front porch and wait for someone to come.  My mother looked out of the window and smiled when she saw me standing outside.  

 

“Welcome home, Eren.”  She said as she held the door open for me to walk through.

 

The house was warm and comforting, just as I had remembered it.  The distant thuds from the basement told me my father was up to his old hobby of reverse engineering random broken household objects.  He once dismantled and reassembled our toaster during the night.  In the morning, it sent up a cloud of smoke.  After that, my mother had limited him to working only with things that were already broken.

 

My sister rushed in the room.  Her wheelchair stopped close to the front door.  Mikasa was adopted, and the two of us were always extremely close.  She was born with a disability that limited her motor skills.  She had been in a wheelchair all of her life, relying on the people around her for help.  Going to college had been a big step for her, but it was going well.  

 

“Hey, Eren.”  She said smiling.

 

“Mikasa.”  I said in return.

 

I was home.  It was a normal day back in the Jaeger house.  It seemed like nothing had changed, and I liked it this way.  

 

The train jolted to a stop. _Wha-?_ I thought.  And then I remembered what my real life was like.  There would be no lights on at home, no family to welcome me.  My parents had died three months apart when Mikasa and I were twelve years old.  We somehow managed to make it through to college.  We were both on full ride scholarships.  We had worked several odd jobs to survive.  

 

I didn’t really know why I was coming back to this place.  My happy memories here were from eight years ago, and it had been eight years since I had been here.  I stepped onto the platform carrying my one small bag that I had brought.  Snow was falling more heavily and the wind whistled past me.  It was harsh weather, but nothing gentle suited this place.

 

My feet carried me to the broken down house where I used to live.  I stood in front of the house.  The old yellow paint on the siding was  peeling, and the front steps were crooked.  It looked haunted.  The screen door in front banged shut in the wind, and I jumped.  Now that I was here, I wanted to get away as soon as possible.  

 

I turned to walk back to the train station.  In the distance, there was a figure walking towards me.  He was the only other person on this street.  I continued on my way.  I bent into the wind as I walked down the sidewalk.  I could feel my feet slipping slightly on concealed ice.  I passed by the man and thought nothing of it until I felt him stop.  I turned to see if he had actually stopped walking, and he had. He looked at me with eyes of a man who had lived and suffered a thousand times.  

 

A shiver ran down my spine.  Had I met him before?  I tried to think about all the people I had met in my lifetime.  But what if it wasn’t from my lifetime?  What if it was someone from long, long ago?  And then I remembered.  

 

“C - corporal?”  I asked in a whisper, hardly daring to break the spell.

 

“Levi.  Call me, Levi.”  He said softly.

  
For a moment, just a brief moment, I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on his lips as he turned away from me.  The snow swirled behind him, and he disappeared into the distance.  I felt a single warm tear fall down my cheek.  He was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving! This chapter is kind of random, sorry. I hope you like it though! As always, comments/criticism and suggestions are always welcome. Thanks for reading!!! <3<3<3


	22. Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is a med student. I wrote this upon a suggestion.

I walked towards the door of the hospital, my hands shaking slightly.  This wasn’t my first day coming here, but it was more nerve-wracking than the rest.  At 20 years old, I was a bit advanced and had only managed to be at this stage because of my best friend, Armin.  He helps me out a lot, so I somehow ended up ahead in all of my classes, and before I knew it, I was in med school.  

 

Today, we were going to do something I was really not looking forward to: dissect human cadavers.  Just the thought of dead bodies made my vision go red, and my stomach clench.  Somewhere in my mind, I felt like I had already seen too much death and blood, but I couldn’t exactly remember when.  I was pulled out of my reverie, when I was met with Dr. Erwin.  He would be overseeing the lesson today, as usual.

 

My stomach twisted tightly.  It wasn’t pleasant.  Armin was skipping today.  I had never known him to skip a day of anything, but I knew for a fact that he didn’t actually have a cold.  I didn’t understand why he chose today.  I felt like my stomach disappeared somewhere when I entered the room we would be working in.  There was a single body lying on the table, but it was covered with a white sheet.

 

“Good day.”  Erwin started with an unusually serious tone.  “Today, we are dissecting human cadavers.  This will give you better knowledge of the human body that you have previously only been learning about through books.  We only have one, today, so you’ll have to gather around.”

 

I took a very, very unwilling step forward.  It seemed like I was the only one of the students that seemed so affected.  Everyone else was looking on in mild interest.  None of them looked like they were about to be sick.  Hanji, Erwin’s assistant, pulled the sheet off of the body, and my blood seemed to freeze.  His skin was pale, and he was incredibly thin.  Even in death, his face seemed to be set in a scowl.

 

My notebook hit the floor with a thud, and my pencil rolled away into a corner.  I felt like my heart had stopped.  The world I saw seemed to be suddenly dyed with red.  I saw blood on my empty hands and it dripped through the gaps in my fingers to fall with sickening noises on the floor.  The hospital was no longer pristine.  It was filthy.  Blood.   _Blood everywhere_.  My body convulsed, and I was hardly aware of hitting the floor.

 

“Eren!”  My fellow students were gathered around me, but Erwin and Hanji pushed through their circle.

 

I looked up at them.  The room was white again, or almost completely so.  I flinched when I saw Erwin.  How was he covered in blood?  His arm was missing, and his face seemed bruised.  I turned to Hanji.  Her glasses were broken, and there was blood running down her neck.  I shrank back.  They looked like zombies, but zombies weren’t real.  I closed my eyes, trying to block it out.  When I reopened them, Hanji and Erwin were back to normal.

 

They helped me to my feet slowly, and I thought I was going to be okay.  My vision was fine, the room was free of red.  I was still shaking slightly, but it was bearable.  That is, until I looked at the man lying on the table.  I was so horrified that I couldn’t move.  There was too much blood.  I raised my hands to reach towards him but realized they were covered in blood, his blood.  I staggered forward and stopped a few feet away from him.

 

The words “for the sake of humanity” floated to the top of my mind.  I looked at his face more closely, and my vision flickered.  What was I seeing?  Corporal Levi was lying on the ground after the titan attack.  We had gained another victory, but at the price of his life.  He coughed as I approached him and blood dribbled from his mouth.  I blinked again, and I was back in the hospital.  I was being suffocated.  The need to leave the room rose in me like a tidal wave, and I ran.

  
I ran past Erwin who stepped out of my way like he understood and past my classmates who looked incredibly confused.  I stopped at the door of the hospital panting.  Things felt a little better in the bright sunlight, but I was still frantic.  Levi.  My mind was repeating his name.  Levi, Levi, Levi.  But it was too late.  He was gone from me once again.  The tears began to flow down my face, and I couldn’t stop them.   _I’m sorry, Levi_.  I apologized, though I knew he couldn’t hear me.   _I’m sorry_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the morbid chapter. And sorry for not posting for a while, I'm going to try to be more consistent. Anyway, thanks for reading <3


	23. Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet in passing. 
> 
> Sorry, short chapter. Sorry, I haven't posted on this for months. Sorry, I'm a terrible person.
> 
> Also, careful with this one, it might be a little triggering. It's not that bad though.

I had a hard life.  I hated it, the world.  There was absolutely nothing that I wanted, or could bring myself to enjoy.  I had spent the past 20 years living in my living hell.  There were several times when I thought about taking myself away, but there was always one thing that held me back.  There was one thing I had to do.  I had to see his face.

 

I had no idea who he was.  His voice echoed to me through what seemed like a very long and empty tunnel.  I could only hear him say my name, but I wanted to see him and to know him.  Surely, when everyone else had abandoned me like they had, he would be the only one to know me.  I clung to him, and so I clung to life.

 

Going to college was something I never really intended to do, but I somehow ended up at a university anyway.  My mother was dead, but my father paid for my tuition with his surgeon’s paycheck.  I never talked to him.  I never talked to anyone.  

 

As I walked across the quad after my last class of the day, I pulled my long sleeves down just a little further.  No one noticed me, but I couldn’t stand the thought of them seeing.  I wasn’t looking where I was going.  

 

“Oi!”  

 

“I’m sorry, I-”

 

“Stupid brat.”  

 

The man I had just tripped into extended his hand to me.  I took it and he pulled me to my feet.  His voice sounded familiar, so familiar.  I looked at him, green eyes gazing into grey.

 

“What’s your name, kid?” He asked, but not in an unkind way.

 

“E-eren,” I muttered, suddenly embarrassed.

 

“Eren.”  He repeated.  It sent a shiver down my spine.

 

His smooth brow furrowed, and his expression became unreadable.

 

“Be careful, Eren.”  He closed his eyes and walked past me brushing my cheek with his hand as he passed.  Or was I just imagining it?

  
I stared after him, but he was gone.  It was him.  I had finally seen his face.  A small smile lingered on my lips as I trudged away.  That was all I ever wanted.


	24. Wings of Liberty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Titans are banished in one part of the world, but they set sail to see what's over the water.

I was born in year 912.  Our world was expanding fast, and the first ships to scout the seas were setting out in a few weeks.  The ship I was stationed on was the “Wings of Liberty.”  I had been waiting to see what lay beyond these shores for all my life.  As kids, I talked with my best friend and my sister about what lay beyond the coast.  Is there land on the other side?  Or is it only water?

 

I boarded the ship on May 1, 920 along with a number of other recruits.  My sister, Mikasa, stood beside me, and my best friend, Armin, was one row behind us.  Mikasa just _had_ to follow me everywhere to make sure I didn’t get into too much trouble, and of course Armin came, too.  I was mulling over Mikasa’s overprotective nature, so I didn’t notice the man walking in front of me until he yelled “Jaeger!” in my face.

 

I jumped to attention bringing my right fist over my heart.  I looked down.  This man was short, like _really_ short.  Why did he look so familiar?  He gave me a cold look and muttered what I thought to be “shitty brat” under his breath.  He walked away, down the line of new soldiers.  I was frozen in shock for a few moments.  Why did I feel like I was forgetting something very important?

 

Since he was the second-in-command, I hardly ever saw Levi on normal duties.  On occasion, he told me to clean something up, or that I had dirt on my face.  As time wore on, he had me do more cleaning.  I guess it was some weird way of showing interest.  It did mean he would talk to me more, but we were never close.  Mikasa tended to walk in on the conversations after no more than five minutes.

 

In the few moments that I had time to sit down and think, I would always remember that I had seen Levi when I was little.  My parents had been alive then.  We had gone to visit a museum about the war with the titans.  Then later, when I was an apprentice in a shop,  I could have sworn I saw him again, but I didn’t say anything.  I had forgotten then the boy in the museum, but I knew him now.  

 

After approximately five weeks on the ship, we heard the cry of “land ho!” above us.  I was currently in my room below decks, but quickly sprinted out to see what was going on.  There was a strip of land in front of us.  We were still far away from the coast, but there was land!  A crew of about ten people, led by Levi, were to venture out first to scout for titans or other threats.  

 

I stood lined up with Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Annie, and a few other crew members whose names I had forgotten.  We were equipped with the 3D maneuvering gear soldiers used to fight titans nearly half a century ago.  In training, I had managed to flip upside down the first try, even though everyone else seemed fine.  I got it quickly after that, though.  But this would be the first time any of us would really be using the gear in anything other than practice.

 

Levi gave the order, and we jumped into the small boats that would carry us to shore.  He stood at the prow keeping his eyes fixed on the land in front of him while the ten of us rowed.  It was a new horizon.

 

When we hit the shore, I jumped forward.  The place was deserted, and there were only signs of a few wild animals.  There were no titans here.  Levi stepped in front of me.

 

“First one of is the captain, brat.”  I flinched.

 

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said quickly, but he was already striding across the beach.

 

We explored the coast, and found no signs of human life.  Later in the day, the ship docked.  We set up camp on the beach, and decided to explore the next day.  However, we weren’t as lucky as we thought we’d be.  The camp was awakened to the sound of someone screaming.  Blankets were kicked off quickly, and clothes were thrown on.  

 

When I stepped outside of the tent, I thought I had stepped into a nightmare.  It was dawn, and the sun was breaking over the horizon.  Silhouettes of monsters raged against the sky.  These were the monsters we had banished from our own continent, but it looked like they ranged elsewhere.  I felt a tugging on my arm and looked over.  

 

“3D gear.  We’re the only ones who can use it.”  I followed Mikasa quickly.  We had to run all the way across the camp to where the supplies were.  Somehow, we made it there alive.  Arming quickly was no easy business.  There were too many straps, too many buckles to adjust.  We turned to fight.  There was already one man swinging around the titans.  He had to be a natural.   _Levi_.  

 

Mikasa and I ran a different direction.  I hesitated for only a moment to glance at Levi.  We had to make it back alive.  I silently promised that I would protect him, and ran ahead.  We ran away from the smashed tents and the blood spilled on the ground.  There was no time to mourn the dead now.  A titan walked in front of our path, and we halted.   I stopped in front of the monster.  My right hand was half-raised, and I wasn’t sure why.  Mikasa turned, and I just registered that her eyes opened more widely than usual, when I bit down.

 

I wasn’t sure why I did it, but it felt like the right thing to do.  My point of view changed quickly, in a flash of light, I was towering over the others.  I gave them a chance to run.  Mikasa just nodded, and started herding the crew members left alive back to the ship.  I caught the titan in front of us head on.  It was so easy to fight a giant as a giant.  

 

Then the haze set in.   _Kill.  Kill.  Kill._ The bloodlust that somehow felt familiar and the feeling that I was hanging by a spider’s thread were back.  My vision was blurry, and I felt like I was somewhere sunny.  Somewhere calm.  There was no one trying to stab me, no blood, no pain.  

 

“Eren!”  The shout seemed to come from so far off, so very far away.  Then another voice cut in.  “Jaeger.”  

 

I was suddenly back in my own head.  Something had shocked me out of passiveness.  Fear.  It was fear.  It wasn’t fear of later punishment, but fear that I would hurt him.  A moment later, I was being extracted from the neck of the titan.  It wasn’t a clean exit.  There was too much steam, and I was too worn out.  

 

“You damn idiot.”  It was Levi.  My eyes found him staring down at me, and I figured out I was lying on the ground.  His brow was creased with something like concern.  Wait, did he actually care about me?

 

“You damn brat.”  

 

“Captain…”

 

“It’s just ‘Levi,’ dumbass, or did you hit your head, too?”  I looked at him, confused.  He was my captain, my superior.  

 

“Don’t talk, anyway, unless you have some morbid wish to die.  And, you’re forbidden to do that again.  You’ll kill yourself.”

 

“Did you hit your head?”  My voice was quiet, but it still cut him off.  

 

“Brat, I just told you not to talk.  Now, shut up, and be good.”  He hoisted me into his arms.  “We’re going back to the boat, Ackerman.”  Mikasa sighed.  “Yes, sir.”

 

It took us five weeks to return to the port.  Our mission was merely reconnaissance, but seeing as there were titans, we would have to return with a larger force.  I was back to my usual duties, after I healed.  I knew the others whispered.  Some talked.  Some idiots like Jean talked too much, but it didn’t matter.  Levi had given orders to keep my transformation a secret.  Why?  I would never know.  

 

The day before we were scheduled to arrive, Levi dropped by to visit me.  I was sitting silently, happily enjoying one of the few quiet moments I had when the door opened.  My head snapped up, when he walked in.

 

“Ca-captain.”  I stammered, wondering why on earth he was visiting me.  I immediately thought back to the incident in the camp, and frowned slightly.

 

“I said, ‘Levi,’ didn’t I, dumbass?  How long is that going to take for you to remember?”  I flinched slightly.

“When we go back, you’re not coming with us.”

 

I stared.  

 

“What?”

 

“You’re not coming with us.  You’ll transform again.  You’ll die.”  He stated it firmly.

  
“Since when did you care?” I shot at him.  “What if I want to go?  I have to protect Mikasa and Armin and-”

 

“They’ll be fine.  Don’t you understand the difference, _Jaeger?_ ” He used my last name like it was an insult.

 

“They don’t shift.  They won’t be subject to trials or torture, like you will if anyone ever finds out you can change into a titan.”

 

“Why don’t you just kill me now?”  I glared at him.  This was unfair.  

 

He punched me in the face.  It wasn’t too bad, but I was still knocked against the wall.  

 

“Ouch, dammit!”  Levi simply stared at me.

 

“I told you that you’re going to die if you come with us.  So I’m ordering you to stay at home.  It’s for your own good, you damn brat.”

 

I was still slumped against the wall when he swept from the room.  I was confused.  Levi wanted me to think of him as ‘Levi,’ but he still didn’t want me with them on the mission.  I didn’t like it.  I wanted to go with them.  Mikasa would be fine, because she was strong, but would Armin be alright?  He was a genius, yes, but he wasn’t that strong.

  
As I walked away from the _Wings of Liberty_ the next day, I was decided not to go back.  I would follow my captain’s orders.  A few weeks later, when a small fleet set out to deal with the titans, I watched the sails disappear over the horizon from the docks.   _Stay safe_.  I murmured, hoping that they would return.  No, hoping that _he_ would return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! <3 I'm sorry for being on a hiatus, but I'm back! I swear it! I really am. I do have chapters planned for a few of the ideas you guys gave me earlier, and, as always, I am happy to hear ideas for episodes, comments, and constructive criticism.
> 
> Also, if anything is unclear about this... this chapter is actually in the same "world" as a few previous ones have been. Namely, chapter 3 (The Apprentice) and chapter 12 (Freedom). 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!! Thanks, again, for all the views and support <3


	25. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets a ghost... or is he a ghost? 0.o
> 
> (Un-beta'd as usual. If you notice any mistakes, let me know and I'll correct it. <3 Thanks!)

I had just turned 21.  Life was nice, I suppose.  For some people, it was nice.  That I was sure of.  But for me?  No.  My boyfriend had recently left me, and for some jerk that I really despise.  To be specific, my boyfriend, Armin, left me for the worst ass on the planet.  The ass’ name?  Jean.  Jean Kirstein.  I was very bitter at the moment, which is why I was sitting where I was.

 

I was sitting in a bar, drinking away my troubles like a man much older than I.  The bar was empty, which made sense, seeing as it was nearly one in the morning on a Wednesday night.  The bartender looked like he was about to kick me out.  They technically closed at midnight, and I had no idea why I was still sitting on that bar stool drinking.

 

The door swung open, and turned, a bit groggily, to see who on earth would be walking into a bar after closing time.  The blonde bartender didn’t seem to notice, but I certainly did.  For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off of his face.  His eyes were cold grey, but their coldness didn’t seem to be directed at me.  

 

“Come on, Eren, let’s get you home.”  His voice was familiar, but I had no idea who he was or how he knew my name.

 

My foggy brain didn’t seem to recognize the fact that he was a stranger, and I got up unsteadily.  He placed his hand on my shoulder, making sure I didn’t fall.  The blonde bartender looked up.  

 

“I’ll put it on your tab,” He said in a business-like manner, before turning away.  

 

If I had been less drunk, I may have noticed that this situation was weird.  As it was, I felt vaguely unsettled, but I followed the stranger willingly.  He also seemed to know exactly where I lived, and we were at the front door to my apartment in a short amount of time.  

 

“Get inside, Eren.”  He shoved me through the door, and I stumbled to the couch.  The man walked over and dragged me up.  “Sleep in your bed, otherwise it’s not fair to your apartment-mate.”  

 

He dragged me into my bedroom and let me slump onto the bed.  As he leaned forward to put a blanket over me, something swung forward on a chain around his neck.  I only got a quick glimpse of it, before he tucked it away.  But I did remember a flash of gold, and wondered briefly what it was.

 

Before long, I succumbed to sleep.  The darkness was a pleasant escape, and I had no dreams that night.  However, when I woke, the man was still sitting there.  I woke no longer drunk, but with a raging headache.  Slightly more alert than I had been the night before, I sat up quickly.

 

“Who are you?” I asked loudly, thinking desperately of ways to get away from this stranger.

 

His eyes darkened for a moment, and I could have sworn I saw a moment of sadness.  But the moment was gone, and his eyes were cold and grey once more.

 

“Levi.”  

 

I stared at him.  “Levi?” I repeated, almost uncertain of what I was saying.

 

“Yes, brat.  Eren.  My name is Levi.”  I noticed that his arms were crossed; I also noticed the chain that was visible around his neck.

 

“What are you wearing around your neck?” I asked without thinking.  Part of my brain wanted me to run, but the other part wanted to stay.  I went with the part that wanted to stay.

 

Levi frowned at me slightly.

 

“Something I need you to remember.”  He murmured.  The sadness appeared in his eyes again, and this time I was sure I saw it.  “I’ll see you later,” He told me quickly, and disappeared out of the bedroom door.

 

I blinked at the blank space where he had been standing seconds before, wondering briefly if he had been real.  Maybe he was some sort of guardian angel that watched over me.  I laughed at the thought.  He didn’t exactly seem like the guardian angel type, but he definitely was someone special.  

 

A moment later, I had forgotten that he existed.  My mind was occupied by the throbbing headache, and I stumbled quickly to the bathroom.  Mikasa was behind me in a flash.

 

“You were drinking, weren’t you?”  I turned slowly, unwilling to face her wrath at the moment, but the tone of her voice told me it wasn’t a question.

 

“Yeah,” I nodded.

 

“Eren, at least take me with you, so if you pass out, I can carry you home,” She sighed slightly, her thin black eyebrows pulled together in a concerned frown.

 

I nodded again.  “Sure.”

 

“Eren,” Mikasa hesitated.  “I know it’s hard for you right now, but I’m here if you want to talk.”  She left the doorway of the bathroom a moment later.  I frowned after her.  Her behaviour felt uniquely unusual.  But it wasn’t bad.  I liked this Mikasa.

 

Over the next few days, life progressed in a normal fashion.  I still couldn’t stand seeing Armin and Jean together, but Armin visited me once, and that was alright.  The blonde was still my best friend, and maybe I could find it in my heart to forgive him for going out with the horseface.  

 

Another few days later, I was returning home after visiting Armin.  I was in a bad mood, having just been in the same room as Jean, and my attention was focused on him.  I started to cross the street without looking.  I didn’t notice the light change, or the screech of brakes.  I only knew that my world seemed to have been flipped around.  

 

I thought I heard someone yell “Eren!,” but I could never be sure.  Apparently I passed out, and awoke a moment later.  The car was stopped haphazardly in the middle of the intersection, and passers-by were stopping to look.  One face stood out to me.  “Levi,” I murmured softly.  How had I forgotten his appearance?  

 

A little concern cleared from his countenance, and he rose to his feet quickly; he had been kneeling next to me before.  “Stay alive, Eren,” He said softly, then turning away added, “I’ll see you later.”  He disappeared into the crowd, but no one else seemed to notice him.  Soon, too, he was fading from my memory.

 

This time, I clung to my memory of him.  It felt important to remember him.  No, not just that he existed, there was something more.  But I had no clue as to what that “something more” could be.  Perhaps, if we met again, I would find out.

 

I woke the next time in bed at home.  Mikasa walked in, and a look of relief broke over her face when she saw that my eyes were open.  

 

“You worried me,” She told me sternly, then walked over and planted a light kiss on my forehead.  Mikasa straightened up quickly.

 

“I was really worried when I got a call saying you’d been hit by a car.  But it seems that the worst injury you sustained was a sprained ankle.”  She paused to look at me.  “The driver even said he was sure he hit you.”

 

My face fell into a frown and I wondered what she was trying to say.  If I had been hit, I probably would have a lot more than just a sprained ankle to deal with.

 

“I’m glad you’re okay.”  Mikasa’s face went back to her usual neutral expression, and she left the room.  I stared after her, wondering what was going on.  When I thought back to the accident, all I could remember was the car coming towards me.  Somehow, I felt like I was forgetting something, but my brain supplied nothing but the sound of brakes screeching.

 

A month had passed, and my ankle was fully healed.  Mikasa insisted that I be more careful in walking, and generally told me to either take a cab or walk with Armin if I visited him again.  Despite my dislike of Jean, I was slowly coming to accept that he and Armin were inseparable.  For Armin’s sake, I put up with Jean, but it was only for Armin’s sake.

 

It was funny.  A month ago, I was devastated every time Armin even mentioned the name “Jean,” but now I could even talk to both of them.  To be honest, my feelings for Armin that were anything other than friendly had faded away, but I still felt like I was missing something.  

 

On the way back from Armin’s house, he bid me farewell after we crossed the street.  I stood at the corner of the intersection, and watched him walk away.  This is where I had the accident; the same place I had miraculously escaped with only a sprained ankle.  The screech of brakes echoed in my ears.  And for a moment, I remembered something that felt remarkably like someone pushing me out of the way.

 

I stared at the street wondering who could have saved me.  I shook my head at the empty spot, and returned to my apartment.

 

Later that day, I returned to the bar.  As promised, I brought Mikasa along.  We sat together at the counter, and this time, I didn’t drink too much.  The bartender, Erwin, reminded me of my tab, and I paid it quickly, hoping Mikasa wouldn’t see just how much alcohol I needed to pay for.  She said nothing.

 

When we were about to leave, Mikasa excused herself to go to the bathroom, and warned me not to get into trouble while she was gone.  I may have been able to manage it, if I hadn’t seen him again.  Maybe he was a ghost, or a spectre, but he was definitely there.   A rush of memories hit me like a dam had been removed from a river.  

 

Levi turned slowly, and my green eyes met his grey stare.  It took me a moment to realize that I wasn’t just remembering the accident, where he _had_ pushed me out of the way, or the night at the bar, when he _had_ dragged me home; I was remembering so much more: images, feelings, sounds.  But they were unfamiliar, almost as if they came from a different world, and perhaps they had.

 

 _“Marry me, Eren.”_  I saw Levi’s face close to mine; I saw the glint of gold and knew it belonged to a wedding band; I saw him turn away from me with his face covered in blood. _“It’s too late, Eren.  I’ll see you later.”_  That’s what he said before he turned away.  We had been in the middle of a war, a perfect couple thrown into the hellish trenches, and I knew why he had turned away.  

 

I watched him kill the soldiers in front of us, and I watched him fall with the last one.  He died protecting me, and he died with a smile on his face.

 

I looked up at Levi, and for the first time noticed that he was transparent.  There was a soft smile on his face and affection in his eyes.  

 

“You remembered,” He said, still smiling gently.  “Here,” He took the chain off of his neck.  “This belongs to you.”

 

The chain dropped into my hand, and it’s weight was real.  The ring glinted again, and I realized that it was mine.  My eyes turned towards Levi’s again, and I swore he was even more transparent.  He was still smiling but there was sadness in his smile.  

 

“I’ll see you later, Eren,” He murmured, and then he was gone.

 

I didn’t forget him when he disappeared.  Instead, I stared at the space that he had occupied until a moment ago.  Looking down at my hand, I realized that the ring was real.  My hand curled into a fist around it, andI didn’t realize I was crying until later.  I hung the chain around my own neck, just like Levi had done, and placed the ring inside my shirt.  The metal was cold, and I could feel it right next to my heart. _Next time, I’ll remember_ , I swore.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> My, my, it has been a long time. And I do apologize for that. No promises for the future, except this: I will finish this eventually. Thank you for sticking with me <3 Comments mean a lot! 
> 
> Also, any ideas/suggestions for chapters are always welcome. Thanks for reading! ^^


	26. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College roommates :)

My name is Eren Ackerman.  I had to remind myself.  For some reason, I always felt like I had the wrong last name.  But I had long since learned to write “Ackerman” instead of “Jaeger.”  My twin sister, Mikasa and I had gone to the same school ever since first grade.  Where I was loud and rambunctious, she was always quiet and reserved until it came to fighting.  We were off to college in the fall, and would be attending different places.

 

As I walked into my dorm, it felt empty to be without my sister.  I entered my room feeling downtrodden and lonely.  One of the beds was neatly made up, and clearly already claimed, so I shuffled over to the other one to lie down.  I dropped my jacket on the floor and quickly earned a sharp kick.  I looked around.  A boy about my age was standing with his arms crossed.  I presumed he was my roommate.   _It’s going to be a wonderful year._ I thought.

 

“Pick it up.”  He said, gesturing to the offending item of clothing I had dropped on the floor.

 

“Sorry.”  I muttered, as a bent to pick up my jacket.

 

“Don’t apologize.  Just don’t do it again.”  He said sternly, still glaring at me.

 

“Yes, sir.”  I paused.  I had said it without thinking, without even a hint of sarcasm.

 

His expression changed from extreme annoyance to something like shock for a second before he turned away.  It was an odd way to meet your roommate.  But I was too tired to do anything about it at the moment, so I lay down on my bed to sleep, careful not to dump my jacket on the floor again.

 

“JAEGER!”

 

I jumped out of bed and fell on the floor.  I was covered in cold sweat.  Images of giants and blood flashed before my mind’s eye.   _What was that?_  I wondered to myself.  And it wasn’t just blood and giants, my roommate was fighting them.  Soaring through the trees in front of me.  

 

“Oi, you, are you okay?”  My roommate was standing in front of me, staring down his nose to see me curled up on the floor.  His imposing effect was mostly ruined by the concern that I could hear clearly in his voice.  

 

My eyes met his for a second before I nodded.  He was most definitely the man that I had just been dreaming about.  Slowly, I stood up, disentangling myself from my sheets and crawled back into bed.  The rest of the night was peaceful and free from bloody dreams.

 

I had nightmares most nights.  I would wake up at around two or three in the morning every time I had one of those dreams.  And every time, there was Levi, half irritated that I had ruined yet another night of his sleep, half worried that the nightmares wouldn’t go away.

 

_“JAEGER!”_

 

I fell out of bed.  It was like the first nightmare I had.  My point of view had been high up, but I wasn’t flying.  Was I…?  Could I have been one of the giants?  I put my head in my hands.  I couldn’t have been one of the giants that killed people.  I wouldn’t do that.  Or would I?  I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Eren?”  Levi asked, waiting for me to relax.  His voice was full of exhaustion, he had stayed up late to finish his paper, and was probably not happy that I had interrupted his sleep.  But he was still there, kneeling next to me.

 

“Sorry, Levi.” I muttered and clambered back to bed.  

 

He slowly got up from his kneeling position.  

 

“Don’t apologize.”  

 

By the time I looked over, he was lying in his own bed with his back facing me.  I sighed quietly, but I didn’t go back to sleep.   _Corporal Levi_.  I glanced over at him again.  He was turned towards me now as if to watch over me.  I grinned at the thought.  His face was peaceful in sleep, and his usual scowl of annoyance was gone.  

 

The school year was passing quickly.  Even as a freshman, I was drowning in work and was a solid B student despite my efforts.  In contrast, Levi was coasting with easy As, and he was a senior.  I had no idea why a senior and a freshman had been roomed together, but I never asked anyone.  I didn’t mind.  Actually, I wouldn’t want my roommate to be anyone other than him.

 

Although he was a notorious clean freak who would bruise me easily if I left so much as one speck of dust on the floor, but he would always be there to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder after the nightmares.

 

_“JAEGER!”_

 

It was the same dream again.  Blood, giants, and Levi were all there, but the dream continued.  I was a giant.  My hands were swiping at the man in front of me, and they wouldn’t stop.  I couldn’t control my own body and terror gripped me.  I was going to kill him.  Trying to pull out had no effect.  Was I stuck?  I struggled inside the titan, watching Levi jump out of the way through a haze.  

 

I watched in horror as a punched and kept running forward at them.  These are my friends!  I shouted at myself, but I was helpless.   _Why isn’t Levi killing me?  I’m out of control._  I remembered he had promised me to keep me from killing my friends if I ever lost it.  He promised he would be the one to end my life if this happened.  So why was he dancing around in front of me?  

 

Mikasa flashed by right and I turned.  My left hand was coming towards her but she didn’t see.  She was too focused on aiming for the nape of my neck.  She didn’t see, but Levi did.  He jumped and put himself between my oncoming fist and Mikasa.  He put his sword in front of him, but the blow still hit.  I saw face contort as I felt his ribs cracking beneath my fist.  

 

The giant I was froze.  I was in control again.  I gently lowered Levi to the ground.  Mikasa was already out of sight, attacking the titans behind us.  But I couldn’t think about them.  I managed to get out of my titan form without getting stuck again.  The steam swirled around me, and I raced to Levi’s side.

 

_“Corporal! Corporal!”_

 

He was lying on the ground, and the pool of blood around him was growing quickly.  He couldn’t go.  He was humanity’s strongest.  He couldn’t leave.  

 

“Corporal!”  I yelled.

 

Levi was standing over me.  

 

“Stop shouting, Jae-- Ackerman.”  

 

I took one look at him.  He was alive.  He was whole.  There was no pool of blood.

 

“You’re alive!”  I shouted again, and launched myself at him.  

 

He froze as my arms hooked around his neck, but I clung on anyway.  A few seconds later, his hands closed on my back.  He was alive, I reminded myself.  I couldn’t help it, I started crying again.  He stood there, unmoving, and let me cry on his shoulder.

 

“Breathe.”  He told me.

 

“Y-yes, sir.  I’m sorry.” I sniffled.

 

“Stop apologizing, and my name is ‘Levi’ not ‘sir,’ you stupid brat.”

 

“Sorry, si- Levi.”  

 

I slowly retracted my arms from around his neck and sat back down on my bed.  He waited for a few moments before returning to his own side of the room.  

 

A few weeks away from finals, my nightmares had never been worse.  Waking up screaming in the middle of the night cut sleep even more than our late night studying alone did.  So as the weeks passed, both Levi and I were more irritable than ever.  

 

The night before finals week was the worst I had ever experienced.  I had the same nightmare again, but I had to watch him die.  I had to see the light leaving his eyes and feel his hand going limp in mine.  This time, Levi didn’t wait for me to scream myself awake.  He slapped me.  Hard.  I clutched my face, but it had done the trick.  The giants were a dream I reminded myself.

 

He let me sob into his shoulder again, while he rubbed my back and told me to breathe.  When we woke up to the shrill sound of Levi’s alarm, we were still entangled.  I blinked groggily a couple of times trying to remember what happened.  I jumped up when I realized I was on top of him.  

 

Graduation came quickly, and I watched Levi walk out of the school for the last time.  

 

“Goodbye, Eren.” He said to me.  “Glad to have you as a roommate, but I hope you don’t randomly start clutching onto the next one as soon as he walks in the door.”

 

He smirked at me.  

 

“Goodbye, Levi.  It’s been nice knowing you.  Maybe we’ll meet again.”

 

“Maybe,” he nodded. “Maybe in another life we’ll get to know each other better.”

  
I shivered slightly at his words, and then I watched his back as he walked out of the front gate.  He was gone.  He was off into the military.  Four years later, I heard that he had died overseas.   _Maybe we’ll meet again_.


End file.
